My Weblog

Memories of a grilled cheese sandwich.........

I got hungry around lunchtime a couple of days ago. Decided to fix myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I got it put together and into the skillet and then I decided I needed to be very careful not to burn it. It was that thought that stirred a memory.

My daughter must have been about 12, maybe 13. My parents were here for their annual one month summer trip. If anyone ever wanted to make my mother happy, all that was needed was to take her shopping. That is what she and I did--we went shopping. Grandpa stayed home with DD. Lunchtime came and went. My mother and I grabbed something while we were out but she was antsy because "Your father will be hungry." When we got home, she immediately went looking for him, but he appeared in the kitchen, carrying a plate. On it was a grilled cheese sandwich. It was very brown, some would say "burned". It's hard to hear a 67 year-old man whine, but whine he did. "I asked her to fix me something to eat and this is what I got." The sandwich was untouched. He took it over and dumped it in the trash.

I don't recall whether or not my daughter witnessed this. But, she is a smart cookie and would surely have figured out her grandfather had refused to eat what she'd fixed. The disgusted-with-men Mama Bear in me rose up. This was a full grown "mature" man. He couldn't have just opened the fridge and fixed himself a sandwich, or maybe even have warmed up some of the countless leftovers in the fridge? He had to ask a kid to fix him something and then reject what she'd made with such disdain? He could even have stood over the sink or trash can and scraped the excess brown off the bread. I'm sure she was dismayed at his request. I sincerely doubt she'd ever known a man who couldn't (wouldn't) make his own sandwich. A full grown man who couldn't find himself anything to eat in a kitchen stocked with food.

Like I said, I don't know if she witnessed this. I don't know if she ever knew. And if she knew, maybe she just shrugged it off. But, it really made me angry. Maybe she never knew. After all, she named her oldest child after him. But, if I had had a son, I think I would have named him anything but................. I surely wouldn't have wanted him to grow up like his grandfather, helpless, resentful, and mean.

Don't think this was a one time incident. It wasn't. He was not a "kind" man. In fact, when on a rare occasion, he made a "kind" gesture, I frequently wondered why. Looking at my grilled cheese sandwich in the frying pan helped me to remember why I have rarely missed him..........

The diagnosis?

No surgery required. The 13 year old alternator is still good. Gotta love a Toyota. Now if only Toyota made car batteries, LOL.....

I did it again--made an excellent dinner. A couple of months back I bought some pork tenderloins. I really don't know why I did that. Curiosity, I suppose. You see, I don't think I've ever HAD pork tenderloin. For sure, I've never COOKED pork tenderloin. Partially, I think, because they were on sale, buy one, get one free. So, I put them in the freezer and then had the occasional nagging thought that I ought to cook the darn things.

Late yesterday afternoon I pulled out one package. I put the package (vacuum sealed) to soak in warm water and was surprised how quickly it thawed. I rubbed it down with olive oil. Then I dusted it down with Italian seasoning, garlic powder, salt and pepper. I turned to the Instant Pot and set it to saute. I then browned the tenderloin on all sides. I mixed brown sugar, soy sauce, balsamic vinegar and water together and poured over the meat. Then I set it to pressure cook for 24 minutes. I gave it a natural release for 5 minutes and then resorted to manual. I removed the meat to a plate to rest and added a cornstarch slurry to the juices and turned the IP to saute. Meanwhile I had prepared some egg noodles. Yup, had pork with noodles and that delicious glaze over noodles. I got it right. I took the leftover meat and shredded it and added it back to the glaze. Package up for the freezer, it should make 3-4 more meals.

I actually surprised myself. Having never cooked a tenderloin before, and being daring enough to use the Instant Pot (with which I am not that experienced), it actually turned out well.

My kitchen mission for today is to can some potatoes. We'll see how that goes...........

So, the guy drove away.........

and less than 10 minutes reappeared. Said he'd been thinking about it and I should have my alternator checked out. (Seems backward to me--seems the alternator should have been checked before the battery was replaced.) He offered to follow me to where I have the car worked on. They said they had appointments booked but I could wait in case they could work me in. So, I sat for a good while. Then they assigned someone to take me home with the promise to get to the van first thing in the AM. Made sense to me so here I am at home. I refuse to worry about it. It's in God's hands.

 

 

It was supposed to be my last 6-hour shift.............

It won't be. I was ready early, as has been my practice lately. I went out, climbed in the van to start my commute, but the van wouldn't start. Called work to let them know I wasn't going to make it. I do not have AAA. But, i do have road service through Geico. Still sitting in the van, I called Geico. It has taken about an hour and a half, but there is a new working battery in the van. Cost of new battery $168.03. Cost to me with Geico road service, $108.03. I am grateful for the $60 contribution from Geico. I am saddened to have to spend $108 of my hard-earned savings. However God has promised to supply all my needs and I am so grateful He is faithful to His promises., even if He does use a big box corporate entity to do it. And very grateful the alternator tested out okay. I was concerned about that as I knew that would be pricey to fix...........

Here's a fun fact. The old battery was installed in 2013, so, even in the intense desert heat, that battery lasted 6 years. That, in itself, is pretty miraculous. Guess it pays to ask for the protection of the blood of Jesus on a vehicle.

Gosh by Golly, Wow!

I made "Creamy White Chicken Chili" tonight. It was awesome. It took only a few minutes which made it even more wonderful. It was proof that having a well-stocked pantry, even in the world's smallest, most overcrowded kitchen pays off.

I started with a pint of canned chicken. The recipe called for a 15 oz can of corn, drained. I didn't have that so I used 1 cup of dehydrated corn. It called for 2 cans of canned white great northern beans. I didn't have that. I used 1 can of cannelini beans and 1 pint of home canned garbanzos, rinsed thoroughly. (I just knew I'd find a use for that jar that didn't seal properly that's been sitting in my fridge for a few days.) It called for chopped onion. I didn't have an onion, but I did have freeze dried chopped onions--in went 1 cup of those. It called for 2 4 oz cans of green chilis. I only had one can, but I did have freeze dried green chilis so I used the can augmented with the dried. It called for 24 oz of broth. I had 2 pints of home made canned chicken broth, yum! I dumped all that together and then began adding spices. I used 1 tsp of cumin, 3/4 tsp of oregano, 1/2 tsp chili powder. Yup, had those. It also called for 1/4 tsp of cayenne--I omitted that. it also called for 4 oz cream cheese which fortunately I had and 1/4 cup of half and half. It also called for fresh cilantro. Oops, didn't have that but did have freeze dried so I substituted that. I think maybe fresh cilantro would have been better, but the dried cilantro served the purpose. The freeze dried is pretty pricey so I felt I had to be pretty sparing with it.................Oh, and don't forget the salt and pepper to taste.

It's delish and it took only as long as necessary to get it all heated together and the cream cheese melted, about 15 minutes. There is only one fly in the ointment. I'm pretty careful about corn and corn products. My dehydrated corn is not organic/non-GMO. I'll have to lay in a supply of that because I will definitely want to make this again. Lovely to have several servings for later! Oh, and I served it with a dollop of sour cream and some green onions on top.

Ugh! The shoes are a bust...........

The new shoes arrived Friday. I didn't mess with them til this morning. When I first tried to put them on, the shoe strings seemed awfully short. Well, guess what? They ARE. I could barely get them tied. I pulled the strings out of my old pair and pulled the strings out of the new pair. The new strings are a full 8 inches shorter!  Same style shoe, much less shoe string. So, my classy charcoal shoes have less than classy baby blue strings. Oh well, not really important.

So, next issue was to deal with the "arch support". When you have really flat feet, a "good" arch support does nothing but bruise the arch of your foot and make it hurt. I've dealt with this by adding a Spenco heel cup under the insole of the shoe. This raises the heel and takes some of the stress off that arch area. OK, got that taken care of.

So, I wore the shoes to work. First, I have to tell you I think they are sized wrong. My Aerosoles that I wear on occasion are a full size smaller and fit fine. My poor little toesies were shoved right up against the front of the shoe. OUCH! Too much pressure on the toes and especially on the toenails of my big toes.

I also discovered that the shock absorption just is NOT there. I had gel/memoryfoam insoles shoved in my old shoes. They helped a lot. However I thought in that I had new pricey shoes I would not need them. WRONG. If it weren't for the sizing issue, I'd put them in there and try again. However, I think that would be futile. I think I will have to return the new shoes and go on the hunt again.

I worked 2-8 tonight. I had about half my shift standing at a register and half in lumber where I could sit. Thank God for the chance to sit. Then when the store finally closed and I was freed from my register, there was a "party" for the cashiers. So grateful for something to eat. I had wondered about arriving home at 9:45 and needing to figure out something to eat while dealing with feet that are more or less screaming at the thought of standing in the kitchen. I ended up leaving early. I had to use the restroom (at the other end of the store). I figured that if I walked that far, my feet and legs just would not cooperate to take me back to where the "party" was as well as having to walk back up front again to exit, so they let me out of there early. At this point my toes, my feet, my ankles, my calves, and my knees hurt. I found I could relieve the pain in my toes by curling my toes inside my shoes. This brought on charley horses in my feet, followed by charley horses in my calves.

It's sure been a challenging evening.

Ugh! I spent money.........

Fortunately it's money I have, not a credit card. But, still, I know how hard I work for the money I have so it's hard to spend it. I bought two things and the total was over $100. OUCH! However, I consider what I bought to be needs, not wants, so..........

I got new shoes for work. The shoes i've been wearing are a good 10.X months old. i usually try to replace at 6 months. i'm thinking this could have something to do with the pain in my ankles. I'm sure most of the shock absorbency is gone from the old shoes. I stood all day yesterday at work and last night and this morning, my knees are also singing their own woeful tune. So, if new shoes will mediate all this, i'm all for new shoes.

I also got a new RFID card case to use as a wallet. I bought a small one that will easily fit in my pocket. The cover of my old one has broken off. This time I opted for leather so it is not likely to "break". Hundreds of people pass me daily as I stand at that register. No telling who might be carrying a skimmer. I can't take the risk. This part of the order was miniature compared to the shoes. Standing/walking on concrete floors for hours every day requires good shoes.

My RFID card case arrived and I don't like it. I wish I had stuck with the hard shell type I've been using. I don't carry a purse, so no wallet. Change is loose in my pocket along with folding money and the card case. I really only have 4 cards I carry with me--debit card for my checking account, debit card for my payroll direct deposit account, my driver's license, and my employee card. However, there are a few other items that need to go wherever I go--my insurance card, a folded up letter verifying my handicapped placard is real, and a business card from my doctor's office. Part of the problem is me--I thought there were 4 card slots. There are not--only 3. This means that one card and the other little stuff has to go in the area I had intended for folding money. I tried putting two of the "important" cards in one card slot but it becomes very hard to remove them and these cards are in and out of my case a LOT. I will try this for a week or so, but I may end up replacing it.

I just pleasantly surprised myself. I knew I had today off. Somehow I missed that I also have tomorrow off as well. My joy is complete. My new theme of "don't be a William" thing is working but the house needs a LOT more than I can give it, particularly when I am working til 8PM. A day "off" is a day to get some things done.

For my buddy in Southern CA--guess what just opened in my neighborhood...................... A Winco. If you remember, I made one trip to a Winco on your recommendation. However, it was 13 miles away one way, and way off my beaten trail. In fact, I even got turned around, turned the wrong way and had to retrace my steps. However when I went to get gas last week, I noticed a big sign for Winco in the same strip mall as Trader Joe's--about 5 blocks from the house. I plan on visiting it this "weekend". Do you know if there is any kind of weekly ad for Winco? I've searched online and found nothing. Also, don't get one weekly in my snail mail. I am that shopper that buys whatever is "on sale" and stocks up (to the extent I can afford). I may find myself really handicapped if there are no weekly specials..........

a NOT so new game: give and TAKE

Do you remember when all employees of a certain corporation received a "bonus" because of the Trump tax cut (and because our chief competitor got headlines for an across-the-board raise for the same reason)? And then what happened? Well, they decided we had burned too many staff hours as compared to our sales. Result: they cut everyone's hours and we were at less-than-adequate staff for months. Even into the new fiscal year.............I wondered how staffing cuts into the new fiscal year could have a positive effect on the previous year's corporate financials. (Hint: as an accountant I can tell you it couldn't...........) Anyway, we all got the "bonus" and then we all lost enough hours to offset the "bonus" multiple times over..........

Earlier this year we were notified that the payroll system had been restructured. I believe that to be a result of the fact that our competitor pays its employees more..............We would now be receiving raises twice a year. I received the first raise and wasn't thrilled. No way that would achieve pay parity. Recently, we got the second raise. Again not gonna get us to pay parity with our competitor. That second raise hit my paycheck on 10/11. Short though it was I was still grateful. Then I noticed my 6-hour shifts were being cut to 5-hour shifts. I subsequently determined through the grapevine that others were seeing the same thing. Well, I reasoned, at least I wasn't being singled out. We always see reduced hours right before Christmas due to the seasonality of our sales. I'd just tighten my belt and weather it as I had in prior years.

Yesterday I was told the real reason for the cut in hours. The source: management. It seems the company had determined that folks working a 6-hour shift had to be given, instead of 2 15-minute breaks, a 15-minute break and a 30-minute lunch. So, rather than give any of us the chance to have a lunch, no one works a 6-hour shift anymore. So, I got a .016% pay raise on my 10/11 paycheck, and, as of 11/5 I will get a 16% pay cut. Sounds about right--the cut in hours will have an immediate effect 10 times greater than the raise. give and TAKE. This cut in hours seems to be an in-store move, not a corporate one. The reason given: it's just too difficult to manage those 30-minute lunches in terms of scheduling. The upshot of all this for me is that if I do not have a single hour off the clock due to illness this coming year, 2020, the most I can earn is $800 less than 2018.

I just LOVE corporate America...............

 

I do not believe

that God makes people sick to teach them a lesson. God calls himself our "father". My earthly father would never have made me sick to teach me a lesson. According to the WORD, God loves me more than anyone human could. After all, He knows every nook and cranny, every wrinkle and loves me anyway. Why in the world would my heavenly Father do things to me that my earthly father would never have done?

I DO believe God still teaches us lessons, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. It seems there are times the Holy Spirit just comes along and gives you a good solid pointed elbow in the ribs. Or maybe it's one of those slaps on the back of the head like Gibbs gives Denozzo on NCIS. In any case, I have been something of a slug the last little while. I think it started around April when all the craziness with the left hand started. I have not been doing much to move forward on this house. Rather, I've been letting it slide.

I didn't like what i was seeing, but I couldn't seem to mobilize to do anything about it. Of course, I made numerous attempts to forge ahead and I seemed to fail in spite of my best made plans. I've also prayed about it as I do with whatever is going on in my life.

Two nights ago I was thinking about my father. When he was in high school, his mother started a downhill slide with diabetes. Of course, that was the 30's and they knew much less about it then. He was the only kid left at home and my Grandmother and Grandfather seemed to stay together only because social rules said they had to, so my father was her primary caregiver. My father was a sugar addict all his life. And always overweight. He dealt with high blood pressure, etc. At 58, he tested positive for diabetes. Based on his "vast 1930's knowledge" of diabetes, he decided life was over. My mother nagged him mercilessly and his doctor and I challenged him. Nothing helped because he had given up. Seven years later he retired.

Retirement for him consisted of sitting in his recliner and not much else. Of course none of the rest of us lived in his body so we had no way of knowing how good or bad he felt. No one really knew what to do with him and he had no motivation to do anything. Such a waste. He had so many skills with which he could have blessed others. He was an ordained minister, had had professional voice training, and played the piano. If he'd ever heard a tune, give him 5 minutes to pick it out on the piano and he could play it very well. I often wondered, living in a big retirement area of Florida, why he didn't go to some of the nursing homes and just go in and pray with patients, talk to them, play some of the old hymns on the piano, etc. He could have been such a blessing. Instead he sat in his recliner and waited to die. Five years after he retired, he got his reward...........

I was so disappointed at how he chose to spend his last years. And, as I sat rehearsing all this in my head, I got hit with the realization that I was sitting in my chair just like he did. I can't do the things he could do. But I can at least get out of the chair and get this house in order. And so, there's a post-it note on my computer that says "Don't be like William". I'm trying again, praise be!

Uh-Oh..........

It "suddenly" occurs to me I have 2 turkeys in my freezer that I need to deal with SOON. After all, another month plus a week or so and turkeys will once again be dirt cheap. And, I plan to take advantage of whatever cheap meats I can buy. But, right now, there is no room in my freezer and the turkeys that are in there have been there long enough! Of course, I will be cooking the turkey and canning the meat and broth which adds extra steps/extra time requirements.

I checked my schedule. Today is October 12 and I don't have another two days off together til the 26th and 27th. I HATE when they do this to me, but, I can't waste energy thinking about things I cannot change. So, I will be cooking and canning one turkey on those 2 days.