My Weblog

Getting ready to give it up...........

I will shortly be in bed. Mostly because it's edging toward that time but partly because the shoulder is bothering me. I just spent some time hanging clothes to dry on the drying rack and my shoulder did not like that one bit. IF I didn't have the shoulder thing, I'd probably try to vacuum the living room yet tonight. Parker has been in and out a few times this evening, bringing mud with him. However, I am not going to chance screwing myself up for tomorrow's shift. So, no vacuuming tonight.

I work a late shift tomorrow. Not thrilled about it, but it is part of God's provision for me. December is always a tough month. I have to renew my tax preparer's ID number which costs money. Registration comes due on the van which costs money. And, I have to start trying to scratch up the money for tax software and that costs a LOT of money............

Last night, I asked the new "blessed one" to let me work on the 18th. It's my birthday. I'd rather spend it at work earning a bit of extra money than home alone with the dog. On a "special" day, home alone with the dog can be depressing. She was kind enough to give me what I wanted.

I am getting some crazy shifts. I've got quite a few of these late shifts. I understand that is because one of our employees left and he worked that shift. However, I also have a shift starting at 6AM and another starting at 8AM. I REALLY don't like either of those. I do not do mornings well and it takes me quite a while to get moving when I wake up. Worse yet, I have frequently had a very difficult time sleeping the night before early shifts. I think my subconscious mind fears I will not wake up in a timely manner and, therefore, I just don't get to sleep. The last time I worked an 8AM shift, if I recall correctly, I went to work on 3 hours of sleep. I doubt that does my body much good.

I've decided to try to start doing the smoothies in the mornings again. I finally gave that up before because I just could not figure out how to make just enough for one serving. Making too much meant my blender bottle lived in the fridge. When I needed it for something else, it was full of leftover smoothie. I've got a better (I hope) idea now, and, if it works, there are a lot of smoothies in my future..........

Okay, enough for tonight. I am going to take what I hope will be the last muscle relaxer for a while and then head down the hall. I discovered last night that one of my 2 favorite sleeping positions seems to aggravate the shoulder. So, to ward off the possibility of it getting worse, I'm going to take that muscle relaxer. I think that will work better than me trying to control in which position I sleep. Hard to "control" things when you're asleep............

Almost okay...........

The neck and shoulder are yielding to the muscle relaxers and the ibuprofen. My mobility is back. I'm still sore, but it's a definite improvement.

Home from my workday. I spent the first 4 hours of my shift on "the refrigerator", up in the front part of the store. Actually it wasn't cold there today. On days like today, it's colder in the middle. The temperature dropped a good 10 degrees from yesterday and we have rain (yes, REAL rain) and wind. So, every time a customer leaves the store, cold and damp wind blows into the store. For some reason it's also quite cold in the Lumber area. I finished my shift with 2 hours down there. I'm wearing a long sleeved turtleneck and a heavy sweatshirt, so I was mostly warm enough. But down in Lumber, I had a hard time keeping my hands warm. It was such a relief, though, to be afforded a few minutes every now and then to sit down. That made up for the cold hands.

Parker, who sometimes is not all that smart, seems to have spent a LOT of time outside. He is wet, wet, wet. And, cold to the touch. I understand his wanting to be outside when the weather is decent and I'm at work. I do not understand him wanting to be outside today.

Customers are starting to be stressed and cranky. I had a really cranky one last night. She apparently thought I was going to help her lift one of those giant folding ladders into her cart. However, she started off with "Aren't you going to help me?" She immediately followed that with "My cart is rolling." I could see that she had the ladder leaning up against the cart so I stepped over and blocked the cart in place with my body. Nope, that wasn't what she wanted. Well, I did NOT help her lift that ladder into the cart. I'm at least double her age. And, I've been working for days with this neck/shoulder thing. All I really would have needed was to tweak what was already hurting. I DID call someone to carry the ladder to her car for her. No one came to tell me I treated a customer badly, so, maybe I redeemed myself with that.

Today I had a guy who interrupted me while I was serving another customer. He wanted me to call someone to help him with ceiling fans. Well, I can easily do that, but it irks me when people can't wait their turn for something like that. Nevertheless, I called to get him the help he requested. Apparently no one was available. So, he walked all the way over to customer service to have them call again. Still, no one came. I could see him standing in the middle of the ceiling fans. So, I shanghaied a guy from Receiving and sent him over there. He helped the customer, though it was certainly not his specialty. Later the customer showed up in my line. I commented "I see you got some help." "Well, not from when you called. I had to go to Customer Service before anyone came," he responded. I tried to explain that it was I who had seen him still waiting and personally sent someone over, but he was having none of that. Oh well, no good turn goes unpunished. I know I tried. That's good enough.

I have been in prayer all day, off and on, for a dear friend of mine. She lost her husband of MANY years last night, quite unexpectedly. I have walked in those shoes and I know how she feels. I can't begin to explain the sadness I feel for her. She notified me by e-mail which I found first thing this morning. I was groggy from just waking up. Honestly, it was so unthinkable that I thought someone had somehow hacked my e-mail and sent me an evil "joke". But, as I read on, I realized that it was real. My heart cries............

That's it for now. Just a note for my dear friend: You can count on my prayers. God has seen to it you are very much on my mind.............

 

Somewhat improved.........

I have been dosing myself regularly with the non-narcotic muscle relaxer and with ibuprofen. I'm some better. I've had 4 little pops in my neck so perhaps it is righting itself. The shoulder and neck are still sore, but I have more mobility and the pain is lessened. And the good Lord thankfully kept me from having a backache.

I was offered yet another shift. This time, I turned it down. I realize, even if the new supervisor doesn't, that I'm at the limit for hours. If I had accepted, she'd have been in trouble. Besides, I DID sign up for Friday which puts me at 4 days in a row, Saturday off, and back at it Sunday. So, no, I didn't want to work Monday as well. Maybe I'd have played it differently if I hadn't been in pain the last 2 days, but.............

I found out why there are extra hours available. One of our guys quit. When he first started working for us, I liked the kid. However, something really soured him along the way. He has been sullen, mouthy with at least one of the head cashiers, flaunting the rules, etc. I was told tonight that he gave notice. Honestly, given his recent attitude, I'd have thought more of management if he'd been fired. If we were at normal staffing levels, his leaving would probably not have occasioned the search for replacement bodies. However, we're pared down so low that if someone who is scheduled doesn't come in for whatever reason, we have no "bench". So, in that he was already scheduled, they are searching for folks who will work the shifts for which he was scheduled.

Of course, I have arrived home pretty much too darned tired to even reheat something. So, I'm having a cheese quesadilla. Then it's off to bed. It's enough already!

Still not having fun...........

Well, I took a SOMA and went to bed not too long after my quickie post last night. I'm still feeling pain. The first thing I did when I got up this AM (after making coffee) was take one of the "non-drowsy" muscle relaxers and some Ibuprofen. I hate that I am now out of Ibuprofen in my home supply. I have a few in the little pill container that I carry to work and I'll get into those if I have to. Then, if necessary, I can keep myself going on stuff from the first aid cabinets at work.

I'm sure the managers are probably complaining that we didn't do enough business yesterday. But, it was me, myself, and I all alone on a register 90% of the day. IF someone else was on a register, it was a fluke. Usually a manager trying to treat some cranky customer with kid gloves. Or, if a customer cut loose with an order for $30000 worth of cabinets & appliances for a kitchen remodel, they probably got "special" treatment from a manager. Other than that, it was me, me, me. So, I was busy all day. It was one of those days when it was hard to even get a swallow of water. I MIGHT be in better shape today if I'd had more opportunities to stretch throughout the day yesterday but I won't do that when there are customers around...........

I work again today. This time I am covering someone else's shift so it's a bit of a "bonus" for me. Of course, I have mixed emotions about it. I would love to stay home and just take care of this crazy neck/shoulder thing. However, money has been tough to come by lately and without the extra hours I am hard put to pay what I want to pay out of my measly paychecks. I also agreed to work Friday when there's another shift to cover. Even less thrilled about Friday because I only have Saturday off and then I have to go back and work on Sunday. But I need the money........ When they offer me an extra shift, I view it as part of God's provision. IF it's part of God's provision, then He'll help me make it through with just one day off, right?

My shift today is a late one. That probably means that I will not be all that busy, even if it IS just me out there, banging away on the register. About the time folks are picking kids up from school and starting their evening routines, business slows down. I am not easily bored so that's okay with me! I don't particularly like leaving the store or coming home to an empty house after dark though.

So, that's it for now. One way or another I'll get through all of it! YOU be BLESSED today. I am blessed with an extra 6 hours on the clock!

Not having fun..........

I slept "funny" last night, I guess. In any case, my right shoulder and the right side of my neck are all screwed up. I guess you could say I have a pain in the neck, LOL. I took half a pain pill while I was at work, but it didn't touch the thing. I think I'm going to take a muscle relaxer and go lie down with my heating pad............

Musings from a confused mind............

Tonight I am watching "Hacksaw Ridge" again. I've reached the part where the medic prays "Lord, help me get just one more" over and over. And he sends 75-100 wounded men down from a mountain top on Okinawa. I am not in the army. I just work as a cashier in a big box store. One of the head cashiers said to me the other day "You're just like my mom. Every day she knows she's alive because she hurts." Well, yeah, kinda. Actually, I've had more "good" days lately. Not perfect days, but I live by "they that place their hope in the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like the eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." And often I remember to pray Desmond Doss's prayer, or a variation of it. "Lord, I have 75 minutes to go. Help me get just 75 minutes more. Lord, now I'm down to 55 minutes to go. Thank you for the last 20. Please help me get just 55 minutes more." I'd love to tell you that when I pray that, all my pain goes away and I sail through the rest of my shift. Nope, doesn't usually happen that way. I realized tonight while re-watching "Hacksaw Ridge" that Desmond Doss was shot at repeatedly, wounded, rubbed his hands raw lowering men on a rope from the top of that ridge. He didn't get those 75-100 men out alive without struggle, without pain. But he DID get them out, to the astonishment of his fellow soldiers and his commanding officers. So, I seldom experience "perfect" days, but He does give me those 75 more minutes if I place my hope firmly in Him.

Lately I've had the story of the Prodigal Son on my mind. Someone in my life has been a "prodigal" for almost 6 years. I've been talking to the Lord about how He brought that prodigal son home to his waiting father. It has seemed like a good idea to depend on the verse that says God is "no respecter of persons". (In other words, what He's done for one person He will do for another.) However, it has occurred to me that the prodigal was brought low before he decided to go home. He was living in truly terrible circumstances before he decided to take a chance that his Daddy would allow him to come back. I have finally had to tell the Lord that if that is necessary, it's okay to just leave my prodigal out there. Certainly I'd love to see my prodigal in a stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father. But, I don't suppose that requires the restoration of a relationship with me. I can go on alone if the choice is hurt and pain to my prodigal. After all, I'm never alone. God is always with me. With Him, I can go on just as I've gone on for nearly 6 years.

A long time ago I was told that sometimes God puts us in a position of being alone so that our relationship with Him grows stronger. Yes, that's true. Perhaps that's more than enough.

Thanksgiving dinner for days.........

For breakfast today, I ate some delicious cucumber, tomato, onion and feta cheese salad. Then I ate a piece of pecan pie!

I've just polished off some mashed potatoes and a couple of deviled eggs. As you know, I've had deviled eggs from my neighbor as well as from my family of clients. I had no idea that deviled eggs were a Thanksgiving thing. I'm glad, though. I just happen to really like deviled eggs! In fact I'm thinking I might make some myself. They're a good protein-based "snack".

I still have some peas and some turkey and then all my Thanksgiving dinner foods will have been exhausted. I have been so blessed with these goodies!

My apple cider vinegar, made with peels and cores, is coming along. I have 3 quart jars filled with water and peels/cores. The quart jars are just covered with coffee filters turned upside down and fastened down with rubber bands. You can smell the stuff "cooking" when you walk into my little kitchen.

Not too sure about the sauerkraut. I did not understand, when I started it, that it needed to be in a "cool" place. "Cool" is defined as less than 70 degrees. I just had the big glass crock sitting on the dining room table. Well, two problems. I apparently did not have enough brine and it was too warm in the dining room. As a result, I ended up with mold on the top. I researched it and found out that some folks actually stir the mold into the kraut. Yuck! I tried an alternative. I removed the cabbage leaves I had covering the kraut. Turns out that it was these leaves that had molded. They did not get down in the brine......... So, once I removed the yucky cabbage leaves, I filled a gallon-size baggie with brine (in case of leaves) added brine to the kraut so that I no longer have ANY worries about oxygen getting to the kraut. The kraut is completely immersed and the baggie is weighted down on top. So, essentially I have created an anaerobic environment, just what was needed. Then I moved the whole thing to the garage where there is no heat and where it is, therefore, cooler. I also covered the crock with a dishtowel to make sure the crock wasn't in a lot of light. It now seems to be coming along fine, but I won't know til I taste it and I won't be doing that til Friday at the earliest. Most likely, if all is well, I won't be calling it "done" til at least a week from this coming Friday.

I worked yesterday. We were busy. I suppose no one expected that. So, once 2PM rolled around, the staff was minimal. It became worse later on because someone called out. My 2nd break was 50 minutes late. I honestly was okay with that because, though I battled the crowds in the front end the first 2 hours, after that I was in Lumber. The fact that I could sit for a few minutes now and then between customers made the extra time tolerable.

This coming week I had only 2 days scheduled. I was offered an extra shift which I snatched up. It's hard making it on 3 days, and 2 days is an utter impossibility without dipping into my hard won savings.

I am off today and tomorrow. I still have about 6 hours to go on "today". So far I've done some vacuuming with the Dyson, including moving some furniture. I've also hauled multiple loads of trash and recycling outside and sorted through some piles of mail. You may remember that I've been skittish about running a vacuum cleaner. That's why I bought the Roomba. However, I've found that my back seems to hold up okay if I limit myself on HOW MUCH vacuuming I do on a daily basis. So, for today I did part of the living room and a decent job out here. Tomorrow I'll go after the master bedroom/master bath. It's all part of the war on dog hair............

I've also been working on a menu for the next couple of weeks. For right now, the plan is to eat out of the freezer or the canned stuff on work days. I also have a small repertoire of really quick menu ideas. Nothing fancy, just something to keep myself one level above starvation. These quickie things will also be at play on work days. And, I'll be experimenting with Instant Pot recipes on the days I'm home. I found a website that has a 30-day menu plan, all Instant Pot meals. They are gathered from various sources around the web. I may hate some of them which means I will NEVER try making them again from the same recipe. But I plan on working through the list and then just rotating back through as I go along. I'll end up stocking the freezer with leftovers, I'm sure. And I'll get more servings of veggies which I need. We'll see how this all works out........

Tomorrow I need to get gasoline and cruise through a grocery store. Then I'll come back here and get back after things here. Picking up the pieces is a slow process...........

I think for my next project I'll pack up a couple of boxes with books that are going to be donated.

Stuffing for breakfast......

I love stuffing. I don't know why I never think to make it for myself, not even Stove Top. Last night I ate the stuffing my neighbor brought over. Scrumptious. This morning I made up my mind I'd eat the first thing my hand touched. It turned out to be the stuffing my client dropped off about 9:30 last night. Different, but equally good. I so rarely get to eat anything I didn't cook myself that it was quite interesting having the two to compare and contrast. Both cooks did a great job.

Last night I also ate a few bites of turkey (beautifully carved turkey white meat), some mashed potatoes, a bit of mac and cheese from a casserole, and pie. I actually ate 2 pieces of pie, pumpkin and apple. The apple pie was a thing of beauty. And, I'm not really a big fan of apple pie, but it was delicious. I also enjoyed the pumpkin pie though I'd bought a pumpkin pie at the grocery store the last time I went so the pumpkin was a bit anti-climactic. I went to bed on a carb overload, LOL. Oh, forgot to say I'd baked myself a yam for lunch. So, I was well fed yesterday, LOL.

I'll probably have another turkey sandwich tonight. Working a late shift again so, not likely to want to cook or even to warm anything up!

Just checked my current paycheck, due today. It is NOT designed to make me smile. I am glad that God is my source, NOT this job. One way or another, I shall have "all sufficiency in all things" so that I can "abound". I'm supposed to abound to good things. Well, there are many good things, but certainly paying one's bills and eating are among them.

I have the shakes at the moment. I don't know why this happens but it does every now and then. In any case, it makes typing a less than desirable activity. Gonna give it up for now.

Mysterious ways..........

I am close to hitting another decade milestone. In general, I try to keep to myself. I try to keep my mouth shut though I do have my moments. I am slow to trust and generally lack self confidence in my personal life. I am pretty good in a "professional capacity" but my personal version of hell is parties where one is expected to be "social". Suffice it to say I don't think I ever learned how.

My plan for today was to be here, alone but for the dog. I really mostly prefer that. I have no family locally and, honestly, it's almost as if I have no family period. I expect that to change in God's time, but that's sort of how it appears at the moment. In any case, today a client of mine, one of my longest running clients, just almost insisted I should have Thanksgiving Dinner with him and his family. Well, I am mentally set to just be here alone. And, although I know this person's father and sister and brother-in-law, there is another sister and brother-in-law I really don't know. It was the two I don't know who were hosting the dinner. I just did not feel I could/should horn in on a family dinner to which I was invited as an after thought by other than the hostess at the last minute. So, I had to work hard at it, but I said thanks but no thanks. So, my client says he is bring some leftovers by later............

And, just now, a woman who has lived across the street for 11 years, whom I've never met, rang my doorbell with her granddaughter and delivered 3 plates of food. She said the Lord Jesus told her to bring me food.

It pays to be God's favorite daughter..........

 

I've really done it this time...........

Apparently I've REALLY screwed up my wrist this time. Truthfully, it's given me trouble off and on for about 25 years. But, I can't remember the last time I've had problems that an overnight with the brace didn't take care of. However, it was Friday I spent the day cutting and chopping in the kitchen. I wore the brace all day Saturday and into Sunday morning. It felt okay Sunday before work and, because I had such an early start, I was brain dead when I left home and forgot the brace. So I worked yesterday without the brace. However, by last evening, I knew I was still in trouble. I wore the brace all evening and then put it back on this AM and wore it til noon. By noon, the brace was really aggravating the skin underneath so I took it off for a few hours. However, it's back on and my wrist is still hurting if I move my wrist "wrong". One major problem here is that I haven't been able to figure out what the definition of "wrong" is...........

So, I guess I'll be taking the brace off only when I'm washing dishes or otherwise exposing my hands to water and we'll see how tomorrow goes..............