My Weblog

Things sure have changed around here.............

Over the last few weeks, I have spent a good bit of time each day cooking special food for Miss Punkin. I won't be doing that anymore.

I left to go to Trader Joe's last evening. No dog followed me to the door and waited to be reassured that "I'll be back soon." I came home to find no dogs waiting to greet me. Instead, Parker was asleep on my bed. He never came out of the bedroom til I went in to check on him........I guess he could have cared less that I'd come home. Or, maybe, he just doesn't have any separation anxiety at all. I guess, at least, that's a better way to look at it..................

I was buying select fresh veggies to add to rice when cooking for Miss P. I walked through the produce area of Trader Joe's last night and almost burst into tears. I swallowed hard and made it through without embarrassing myself. 

Parker assumed Punkin's position in the bed last night. The silly dog snores! Geez.................

It is infinitely calm and quiet around here. And there is less problem walking from place to place. You can probably figure out that if Parker doesn't care if I leave the house, he also doesn't care if I leave the room............. I think I miss having my every step "dogged". Punkin was ever present.........

I slept really late this morning. Yesterday was such a hard day, emotionally. I was worn to nothing when I went to bed last night and slept more than 10 hours! No doubt I needed it...........

I ordered some supplies for gardening. First I ordered seeds. I thought I might order from a place in Utah, considering their proximity. I figured that might mean faster shipping. But, they were really pricey. Instead, I ordered some seeds from a place called dollarseeds.com. They sell you just enough of each variety of seed to cost $1. And the cost of their shipping is very reasonable too. I just hope they are prompt! They were recommended by one of the big time gardening people on youtube. I also shopped Burpee and Amazon before I ordered. Burpee was just about as expensive as the Utah seed place, and Amazon only offered variety packs. I wanted to be able to order just exactly what I wanted to order, not what someone thought I should order in the form of something prepackaged.

I ordered a soldering iron. That might sound like an odd tool for gardening. However, I will be growing things largely in milk jugs. It is important to put many holes in the jugs to enable the plants to draw up water. I CAN do this with a sharp knife, but, to be honest, it scares me. I could also heat a nail on the stove and use that heated nail to make the holes. To be honest, I'm off put by this idea too. I'm dangerous to myself around a hot oven. I can only imagine what might happen, trying to control a super-heated nail. So, a cheapie soldering iron, with a real handle on it seems a good choice. 

I was reasonably sure I had a bag of potting mix in the garage. Well, if I do, I defy you to find it. What I found when I went looking was a bag of grass seed and some sort of weed-n-feed granulated fertilizer. Those won't work. So, I ordered potting mix.

I will be planting some "leggy" plants. I will definitely need something to support them. I thought seriously of buying some wire, but I've decided to just go with standard tomato cages. However, in the process of making that decision I found an error in the description of the wire I had thought I'd use on Lowe's website. I didn't do anything about tomato cages at this point. That can wait a few weeks.

I am also considering using those polypropolene bags you buy to carry your groceries home in if you are interested in eliminating or reducing your use of plastic bags. Seems folks plant those things and put them in some sort of a container (one suggestion for multiple bags  is a "kiddie" pool). Apparently they work really well for the "leggy" plants. Plenty of room for roots without problems of things becoming root bound. 

I basically got nothing done yesterday except for taking care of a dying dog, going to Trader Joe's and a little bit of clean up. I'm on it today, I tell you! 

 

 

so many losses, so many tears...............

Today my precious girl, Punkin, died. The folks I hired to carry her body away just left. And I am left without her for the first time in almost 11 years. 

She was too big for me to carry anywhere and I would have had to carry her. She seemed weak last night, but this morning, she was walking from the living room out here to the office and she just fell. She more or less crawled a bit further into the room. And there she lay, fighting for breath. I never understood how anyone could be strong enough to stay with a pet that was being euthanized. However, I was right there with her, talking to her, stroking her, throughout the ordeal. She struggled so long and so hard that I finally had to begin praying God would just take her to spare her any more suffering. 

My life has been full of losses............. they began when I was 7 and my grandmother died. There have been broken relationships a plenty. The death of the best man I ever knew (not a perfect man, but certainly the best). And now the death of the beloved girlie who has become such a good friend, protector, companion in the last few years of her life. 

I am devastated. 

Still tickin'.............

It's been a few days since I've posted. I thought I'd better generate a post in case anyone was concerned. Normally, I'm pretty regular about blogging. I tend to post daily, sometimes more than once a day. However, I've been otherwise engaged, LOL.

I have fallen into the world of gardening. I may never climb out, LOL. I am totally fascinated. 

This is not my first rodeo. Many years ago, when my DD was small, I had a garden. It was kind of raised bed type garden, though I didn't have the $$$ to really add much in the way of good soil and amendments to fill up the big box. Honestly, after all the videos I've watched on youtube about gardening, I am shocked that garden produced anything. But, yes, it produced. Looking back, I think it must have been a miracle of God's provision to help keep us fed. We had excellent tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, and lord knows what else. Every evening after I'd gotten home from work I'd go out and water it. I had created a "compost bin" out of stakes and chicken wire that sat smack dab in the middle of the raised bed. I added food scraps and grass clippings to that little enclosure whenever I could. And my nightly watering was through that "compost bin". I knew that with our hot sun and plenty of water, the compost would break down quickly and feed my plants and improve my soil. I guess I was making "compost tea" before I even knew such a thing existed. I actually dug little "irrigation ditches" coming out from around the compost bin to help the enriched water get to all the plants. On the days when DD was wearing a dress or a long shirt, I made sure to find SOMETHING to harvest. She would pull up the front of her dress or shirt and I would plop a zucchini or a tomato or whatever in there and she would carry those veggies into the house, all smiles.

This year, I'm going to attempt to do some gardening. However, it will be largely in "found" containers. I have some 2.5 gallon buckets that would probably do for lettuce, carrots, spinach, or onions. I have an unused trash can that may well become "home" to something that needs a better root system--maybe a tomato plant or cucumbers or peppers. Primarily I plan on using milk jugs. 

Many people use soda bottles. I do not buy soda. Except on rare occasions when I was expecting visits from my DGC, I never really did. I DO buy milk, so milk jugs it is. People talk about "succession planting"--putting new seeds into the ground over a period of time so that those seeds will mature and produce at different times throughout and beyond the "growing season". Well, I can achieve that "succession planting" easily--by using milk jugs as I empty them, one or two a week. 

I had kind of been of the opinion that if you didn't dig into the back yard, it wasn't gardening. I've given up that misconception. I am loving the idea of growing things in containers. One thing that has held me back for years is trying to decide WHERE to dig up the back yard. This is the desert, y'all, and it gets extremely hot and dry around here in the summer. WHERE, I wondered, could I plant that stuff had a decent chance of growing. The idea of growing in containers means I can grow on my patio. I have some shade on the patio all day long. And in the morning, it gets full sun. I think containers will do well there. I have the advantage of being to move the containers to give sun-loving plants more exposure if I need to. Alternately, I can hide those plants that can't take the heat, up close to the house where the exposure will be limited. It seems a win-win to me.

So, right now, I have two jugs that have been cut to work. I am planning on planting some red bell pepper seeds in those. I have learned a LOT about how to harvest seeds from food I am eating. For example, I just watched a video on "fermenting" tomato seeds. And I am now educated about "heirloom" seeds, organic seeds, non-GMO seeds, etc. 

I have decided I can't avoid dedicating a small amount of my monthly budget to this endeavor. I may go trash picking. Or, I may begin to haunt the thrift stores. But I am going to have to buy some things. My hope is that the small amount I spend now will result in lots of good food later in the year that I don't have to buy at grocery store prices. I don't like the idea of spending money for seeds, but I can grow way more produce for the price of a packet of seeds than I can buy for the same price at the grocery store. 

I'd love to be able to finance some gardening purchases out of the grocery budget. However, that budget is pretty much pared down to nothing. In fact, I've had to increase it some because despite my best efforts, I've exceeded it the last two months. Maybe there will be sufficient savings come late summer/early fall to make a difference. I'll just have to wait and see.

I intend to continue watching gardening videos on youtube til I just can't stand to watch another. Then, I will stop that for a while and go back to it later. Youtube is a fantastic resource! I have watched tons of videos from CaliKim, Larry Hall, and am now digging into videos by Gary Pilarchik who has a somewhat more "scientific" approach to the whole thing. I am simply trying to accumulate some general knowledge, enough to help me fumble through my first "garden" in 30 years.........

I am still doing tax returns. I have three on the desk, waiting to go out to clients. I have tackled the one that I put off year after year. That one has to be done step-wise so there is no immediate feeling of accomplishment when I work on it. I have two waiting, both "freebies". And I know I've got a trust return coming in through the front door in the next day or two. And there are still folks out there I haven't heard from yet this year............

I am still designing like a crazy person, two or three kits at a time. Right now, it works for me. I did stroll through the file in which I hold kits that have not been released and I realized I'm going to have to spend some time making previews and getting those kits ready for the store. That's a lot less fun than working on a fresh, new design (or 2 or 3, LOL). But it has to be done and it doesn't pay to wait til the last minute to do it. So, I'm going to do some of that today. 

And, I intend to spend some quality time on this house. It REALLY needs it. It's making me nervous! So, that's what I've been up to and what I have planned for today. I'd love to know what you're up to. It just might help motivate me! YOU be BLESSED today!

Sustaining life..........

We Americans are so spoiled. We think we have to have the perfect item for every purpose. I've spent a good part of the morning working on changing that mindset.

For years I have wanted to have a garden, to grow my own produce. What has held me back? I didn't think I was strong enough to properly dig up the hard packed "soil" in my back yard. I didn't think I had the extra $$$ to pay someone. And then, trying to enrich that "soil" (largely clay and rock) to where it would actually be able to produce nutritious food. And, I would need some sort of "fence" or raised bed to keep the dogs out of it. 

What I discovered this morning is that people around the world grow food in the darnedest things. Things such as: milk jugs, large water bottles, large soda bottles, "grow bags", wooden boxes, wooden crates, wooden cabinets, those cloth grocery bags, garbage bags, even those plastic grocery bags that accumulate in our kitchens. Wow!

Well, I don't think I have anything that is wooden to donate to the cause. I don't drink soda. But I do have milk jugs. And I do have those cloth grocery bags (they cost $.99 at Target) if you need to buy some. And I certainly have plenty of those plastic grocery bags. 

One of the neat things about growing things in containers like this is the ability to move things around. For example, I am getting a late start for this area. If I were to put out tomato plants in a garden plot now, the tomatoes would blister in the heat. But, I could plant them in these types of "containers" and move them into the shade during the hottest part of the day. Or move them into the house if it got windy or cold. That's pretty cool. 

The primary consideration is making sure there is sufficient drainage so that the roots of whatever you plant are not soaking in standing water. That's pretty easy to accomplish with a nail or a drill being used to make holes in the bottom of whatever container is being used. 

I am shocked at the variety of plants that can be grown in containers. I've seen everything from potatoes to leggy plants like peppers and cucumbers and even tomatoes! This technique also works wonderfully for herbs and, Lord knows, fresh herbs are so much tastier than dried! And homegrown veggies picked straight from the garden are also much tastier than what is purchased in the store. I remember a few years back, visiting a friend in Fresno, who had a beautiful garden. And there I stood in the middle of the garden, munching on a tomato picked fresh from the vine. It was probably the best tomato I've ever tasted. 

I've started my own little collection of "compost" makings. Just vegetable peels and coffee grounds and egg shells. I am thinking I will try to rig up some sort of an enclosure with wire and invite the yard guys to dispose of their grass clippings in that enclosure. When watered, that should make some good compost, particularly with food "trash" added in. In the alternative, I may splurge on a dark colored trash can, drill holes in the bottom for drainage and make that my compost container. 

So, I have a couple of milk jugs. And I have some organic potting soil. Now I need some seeds. Well, I've watched videos on youtube on how to harvest seeds from store bought produce. The warning is that produce grown from these kinds of seeds may not be as good as what was purchased. However, maybe that can be helped along with some inexpensive fertilizer. I'm going to try fish fertilizer and epsom salts. The fish fertilizer is stinky but it works and its cheap. I already own some epsom salts and if I need more, it, too, is cheap. And, I will be drinking more milk so I can expand my "garden". Or, I can always go shopping at a thrift store or in a dumpster for more containers! 

The big trick here will be keeping the stuff sufficiently watered. Chances are pretty good that containers will dry out during the day, but it's nice, going out just before sunset and playing in "the garden". Who cares if "the garden" consists of plants in containers. There are even ways to recycle the water which is a very good thing here. One of the things I've complained endlessly about (to myself) is how long it takes to get hot water out of the tap around here. Now, instead of fretting about it, I will attempt to capture as much of the water that runs while waiting for hot water to appear, and use that to water my "garden". I'm sure it will be more than sufficient for now. 

Can you tell I'm excited? I think my first plants will be red bell peppers. Why? Because I have one in my fridge right now! So, within the next few days, I'll be poking holes in my milk jugs for drainage and getting some pepper seeds in the ground. I also have some celery which can be re-rooted and will then produce a harvest. Yeah! And, if I get too much of anything when its time to harvest, I can freeze or dry it. This will lighten my cost at the grocery store for which I am grateful...........

I think this will meet my requirement for "cheap". If I'm using milk jugs, seeds from purchased produce I plan to eat, organic potting soil I already own, compost from scraps, and run-off water, the only expense I can see for start up is the fish fertilizer. That can be purchased for less than $10. Oh, and I will need a pitchfork to turn the compost, but not until I have enough to actually turn, LOL. I priced pitchforks on Amazon. I don't think I'll need anything heavy duty, so I should be able to get something that will work for $30 or thereabouts. 

Well, that's it for now. YOU be BLESSED today. 

Muddling through

Sunday I could barely walk. I have no clue what happened, but I went to bed Saturday night feelin' fine. I woke up Sunday morning with a left knee that hurt like the dickens and wanted to buckle under me. I gimped around here all day Sunday and all day Monday as well. By now, it's actually better, thank God. The first step or two, after sitting at my desk for a while, is still a bit iffy, but then I'm mobile and pain free. 

I am beginning to believe that with this old age thing, you just have to adopt a "this too shall pass" attitude and keep going as best you can. Otherwise, likely whatever is bothering you will pass, but you will have lost a day or two or more in the process.

I have been up since about 4:30 and I've only had 3 hours of sleep. I think my little girl dog is really not doing well. She is practically attached to me. She does not seem to be comfortable lying down. I find her lying down every now and then, but the next time I see her, she's standing. And she looks at me with such doleful eyes, as though I should fix it. Of course, I don't know how to fix it. Remember, this is the dog that has been very stand-offish all her life. It is so unusual that right now she wants to be close to me. I was in bed and I got up to go to the restroom. When I got back in bed, I kept feeling as if the covers had moved just a teeny bit across/around my feet. I checked and there she stood, at the foot of the bed, with her head resting on the mattress. 

I have been working hard to feed her good food. However, she is SO thin. And though she seems to be a bit better than she was when I started cooking for her, she certainly is behaving oddly today.

Anyway, I hope, if you get an extra moment today, you'll pray for her. I don't want to lose her.............

Wonky Day

Yesterday was an off-balance, wonky day. It started Tuesday night. I worked until the wee hours of the morning. And then, once I finally went to bed, I could not go to sleep. So, I got back up. And, finally, between 5:30-6:30AM I went back to bed. And, I'll be darned if the phone didn't wake me at 8:30AM! 

I was afraid to go back to sleep as I had an appointment scheduled at 11:30AM. So, finally, when that was over, I went back to bed. I think, all in all, I got 5-6 hours of sleep. But the whole day was turned topsy turvy. 

I did manage to get in some time with the Lord, but I missed my treadmill time. I've been trying to work that into my day a lot earlier in the day than my usual. But, since I was operating on reduced power due to lack of sleep, I just could not seem to make that happen. 

One thing I did make happen was turning out a tax return. I'd promised myself I'd do one a day, whether or not I wanted to. So, I actually checked and printed two yesterday. One of the two contains a transaction in common with another return I'm working on. So, I will grab my worksheet from that one and use it as a guide to finish the one that's pending and get that printed today. 

I also know exactly which return I'll be working on today. So, that's planned out.

I have been backing up files and running virus scans. The virus scans take forever. It was busy, scanning just one EHD for over 24 hours! But, I'm also doing back ups. I did not do a good job of this in February, but I will have a full back up for March, as it should be. And I should have that completed by tomorrow. 

In the meantime, on the design side, I am finishing up another kit. It's a kind of funky, fun kit, but I like it. I just put together the final raw preview. Now, to get them wrapped and ready for the store. And then to organize the kit files. I can then call it finished and move on to another one or more, LOL. Actually, that will leave me with 3 kits in progress open in my work bin. Not one of the three even has its full complement of papers yet! Lots of work to be done. 

I'm still cooking for the dog. And she is still eating like crazy. I guess that's good, but I do feel as though I am spending half my life in the kitchen. Tuesday night she had some sausage links, fried potatoes, and some scrambled egg mixed in. Yesterday, it was back to rice and veggies, but I added in some cheese for extra protein and I had a hard boiled egg for her as well. So, I hope I am getting some kind of balanced diet into her. She definitely is a bit more bright eyed and active. 

I went to Target and bought some stuff Tuesday. The sausage links my little girl dog is eating were marked 1/3 off. I only found two flats of those and I bought them both. I think there might be some biscuits and gravy in my future. I love biscuits and gravy and I haven't had that for a LONG time. So, a treat for me, I guess. 

Of course, I spent more than I wanted to at Target, but I can at least say I kept my purchases to what was needed. I did buy a 50 pound bag of dog food which was desperately needed. I had scraped the bottom of the barrel for Parker! I also bought some Oxyclean and some Lemi-Shine in the household department. I needed both. I have some homemade detergent. I don't have a lot of confidence in it. I use it only for the dark colored clothes. I save the Oxyclean for the light colored and white clothes. 

I have been meaning to tell you more about "Lemi-Shine". I STRONGLY recommend this stuff. We have REALLY hard water around here. But the Lemi-Shine leaves my dishes spot-free every time with no added rinse agent. Beyond that, it seems to have worked a small miracle. My dishwasher has a dispenser for the rinse stuff. However, that dispenser was NOT working. And, before I found the Lemi-Shine, my dishes were coming out looking like they had some dread disease. The Lemi-Shine not only took care of the "leprosy" look of my dishes but, all of a sudden, the rinse dispenser has started working again. I don't know--I'm no dishwasher engineer. Maybe the Lemi-Shine had nothing to do with this phenomenon. But, it's the only change I've made and that dispenser was clogged up for months! 

I was low on or out of a BUNCH of stuff--flour was low, sugar was low, milk was gone, butter was gone, half n half was gone, and so on. I am beginning to think I am going to have to somehow increase my budget in the grocery department. I am being very careful to cook from scratch, to make budget-minded things to eat, to buy things on sale if possible, but I have now exceeded my grocery budget twice in two months. Maybe I was just too optimistic when I set that budget........... I think I am going to try for that number for one more month, and if I can't make it work, re-evaluate.

Well, mucho work awaits me. My house is almost beyond salvage. At least, you would surely think so if I allowed you to walk through it, LOL. And there's design stuff and tax stuff and computer maintenance stuff to be done as well. I'm going to get busy with it. YOU be BLESSED today. 

After effects of Daylight Savings Time.........

I don't really think I've ever had much problem adjusting to DST. Maybe, but I haven't noticed it. However, maybe it's changed?

I do remember being surprised that it was light so long. Yes, for a while there, in December and January, I was turning on lights in the house around 4:30. It's gotten a little later, day by day, til I was turning on lights around 5:30. It was a shock to me yesterday when it was still plenty light outside at 6PM. And it was also a shock to me when my clock said 11something last night. Because it had gotten dark so late, it felt more like 9something or maybe 10PM to me. 

The BIG surprise came this morning when I woke up a little after 4 and could NOT go back to sleep. I got up and puttered around the house a while and went back to bed around 6 and slept a couple of hours. 

Today is going to be a busy day.

1) It's drag the trash to the curb day.

2) I CANNOT put off going to a grocery store any longer. I've bought bits and pieces since February 24th but I can't wait another day. The dog food is gone. I'm low on half n half and I'm out of butter. I am really getting low on a lot of staples as well. But, there's no money in the budget to deal with that dilemma right now. I'll be like Scarlett and think about that tomorrow (or after the 4th Wednesday of the month). The next bit of money I get my hands on has to go for black ink for the printer. I do not have a spare cartridge which is very not good!  

3) I have tax returns coming out of my ears. It's really not that bad, but the moment I have more than 2 piled up, I get antsy. I need to print 2 copies of one, 3 copies of another, and I know I have about 6 stacked up to do. I plowed through one nasty one yesterday and made some phone calls to ask questions and solicit further info on some others. I think it's a matter of me disciplining myself to do first things first. So, I am making a rule that I have to do (prepare, check, print, and check again) a return a day til I get caught up. That's in addition to whatever comes in the front door in the form of clients, dragging their stuff. I don't have a problem doing returns when I am face to face with the clients. It is disciplining myself to do the ones that just get dropped off or come in the mail. If there are no clients here, my mind says I am free to do other things and that is just not true.

The kitchen is a total pit. I am going to have to spend substantial time in there. I have spent a lot of time in there cooking, mostly for the dog. And I haven't spent equivalent time cleaning up. In addition, do you remember that messy lady who used to show up at my house, cook, and make a mess in my kitchen. Well, she showed up yesterday and made oatmeal cookies. Well, the oatmeal cookies are scrumptious, but the mess is overwhelming, particularly in my tiny kitchen. If I can't at least get the kitchen clean today, I might have to run away from home.

I have 2 daily practices which I've been trying to turn into habits. And, so far, I'm failing miserably. I NEED to spend quality time with the LORD daily, and I NEED to spend quality time with the treadmill daily. If you are a Christian, you will understand this: Both of those things are for my good--one for my spiritual good, one for my physical good. And I am getting opposition on establishing these habits, BIG TIME. I'm resolved AGAIN to start AGAIN on these today.

YOU have a BLESSED day. And please say a prayer for me that I get these two habits properly in place in my life...........

 

 

 

Murphy's Law in action..........

Has someone transplanted me to the middle of the Bermuda triangle? Things around here are weird.

I have been sweating making the mortgage payment. Last night I had finally gathered up enough money to flesh out what was in the bank account--enough to cover said mortgage payment. I jumped in the car and hit the bank drive-thru at 9:36PM. That was 9:36 PM Friday night, March 11. AFTER my checks were already IN the machine, I learned that I would not have access to my money til Tuesday. Now what the heck is that all about? The bank is open today. The bank is open Monday. Why, oh why, is my money not available til Tuesday? It just so happens Tuesday is the 15th and that is the day my payment HAS to be in the hands of the mortgage company. It looks to me right now as though my mortgage payment is going to be a day late and I am going to incur a late fee. Bah!

I worked on a tax return a couple of days ago. It's not complex tax-wise, but there a zillion forms that go into getting the data entered. The clients are a retired couple and they have wisely diversified their investments and they have wisely saved over the years so they have a good bit invested. They also own a rental property. I got it all entered the other day and then decided I was going to have to call the client and check up on some things. He's VERY organized and I've never had to ask him even one question before. But, in good conscience, I need to call him this year. Went to open the file so I'd have it open in front of me before I called and EVERYTHING I had entered is gone. I've used this same company's tax software for 25 years. I've never had this happen before. In fact, there's a function within the software that creates an automatic save even if the power goes out. I don't know how they do that, but they do. So, now I have to work my way through 20 or so documents again to get it all entered for the second time........... This is a terrific time waster for me.........

I'm sure today will be a better day.......

 

Can you stand...........

a LITTLE BIT of religion this morning? I ran across this graphic on a blog I was reading.

My first thought was that it was a good thing that during those turbulent times President Lincoln remembered to pray. And then something else hit me...........

How very sad that he prayed when he was "driven" to his knees, at times when he thought he had "nowhere else to go". And how like us that is. Often we pray, but only after we've tried everything our little human brains can think of, banged our heads against a wall multiple times, and have nowhere else to go............ That is not the way it should be.

Understand, I am not pointing my finger at anyone. Besides, if you remember, you point 1 finger at someone else and 4 are pointing back at you, right? Slowly, I am learning to pray first. But, it's a REALLY SLOW process to learn this lesson. And it's a lesson we're not likely to learn by chance. Rather, it takes effort. 

In 2000, a fellow named Bruce Wilkinson published a book called Prayer of Jabez. It kinda took the Christian world by storm. I've had a passage from that book hanging over my computer for about 16 years now. It goes like this:

    It's a frightening and utterly exhilirating truth, isn't it? As God's chosen blessed sons and daughters, we     are expected to attempt something large enough that failure is guaranteed unless God steps in. Take a     minute to prayerfully try to comprehend how contrary the truth is to everything you would humanly     choose. 1) It goes against common sense. 2) It contradicts your previous life experience. 3) It seems to     disregard your feelings, training, and need for security. 4) It sets you up to look like a fool and a loser.

    Yet, it is God's plan for His most honored servants. I'll admit, big screen heroes don't seem to put any     stock in dependence, but you and I were made for it. Dependence upon God makes heroes of ordinary     people like you and me. How? We're forced to cry out "Oh, that Your hand would be on me." With that,     we release God's power to accomplish His will and bring Him glory through all those seeming     impossibilities.

I don't know about you, but my life is filled with "impossibilities". I have a very hurtful "impossible" relationship with someone I hold dear. I have financial "impossibilities". I have health "impossibilities". And I ask for God's help with these impossibilities regularly. But, I also remember to say "good morning" to Him when I get out of bed. And I remember to say a sweet "good night" to Him at bedtime. And I talk to him when I cook, when I clean, when I design. I'm glad I don't have to wait til the impossibilities force me to my knees because I have nowhere else to go. 

God loves me. And He WANTS to hear from me. I think He smiles when He hears my voice, there in the Throne Room. It is such a privilege to talk with the Creator of the universe on a frequent basis. I am so glad I don't have to wait til I'm overwhelmed with my personal "impossibilities". 

Don't get me wrong. I do NOT always get this right. But, one thing has helped. When I BEGIN to feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, hurt, whatever, I realize that God intended me to live in a garden with all my needs supplied. I was not built for stress, anxiety, fear, hurt, etc. I was built to depend on Him. When I experience these negative emotions, I have learned (most of the time) to step back and check what I'm thinking. Chances are I am searching for solutions instead of depending on God to supply them.

It's a hard lesson to learn and one I'll probably be working on the rest of my life............

 

    

Not feeling so hot.....

I don't know what it is, but my gut has been misbehaving for two days. Or rather two nights. I ate dinner last night and then felt queasy and cramp-y all evening. Finally, around bedtime, I got some relief. I woke up this morning feeling queasy and cramp-y. However, not long thereafter, I felt better. Now the cycle has restarted. 

I don't get it. How can I be sick? I understand there's a virus going around, but I have literally not been out of the house except to go to Trader Joe's anytime in the last two weeks. None of my clients have been ill. So, how did I catch whatever it is that is trying to mess me up? 

Or is it something to do with diet. I admit I've been eating foods that have a lot more fiber in them than what I usually eat. However, I would have thought fiber would cure the problem rather than exacerbate it!

Both last night and tonight, I very happily took my magnesium supplement. Why? Glad you asked. Wanna guess the base in which the magnesium is delivered? None other than milk of magnesia........... I had/have hopes it would settle my stomach. And, at least, it does seem to help with the nausea. I guess I need to be thankful for that.......

So, one of my two trips to the grocery store happened last night. You're not going to believe what I have cooking in the crockpot........... I am taking a shot at making refried beans from scratch. I'm not an aficionado of Mexican food, but I'm trying to eat more beans, partially for economic reasons and partially for nutrition reasons. Technically, the beans are cooked. But they have to cool before I can put them in the food processor. I wish I had an immersion blender about now........ Anyway, I figure I can eat a couple of servings just as refried beans. Then, I also own some tortillas so I suppose some bean burritos are in my future. I'll freeze some for later, too, so that I don't get overwhelmingly tired of them before I can eat them all.

Of course, I spent more at Trader Joe's than I'd planned to spend....... Don't I always? And sometime tomorrow I have to go to Target and buy dog food. At least if Parker's appetite holds out. Punkin is still getting food cooked by me. I'm not used to all this cooking and the kitchen is a wreck. It seems like I go in there to straighten things up and instead I realize it's time again to cook something.......

I picked up some Greek Salad Dressing at Trader Joe's. It's got a creamy base. What I've been making here is not as heavily spiced and is just a vinegar and oil base. Nice variety. I also bought some lentils. I have to tell you something kind of funny. I don't like lentils. At least I never have. I've tried several times to make some sort of lentil soup and no matter what I tried, I never liked it. However, they had a lady at TJ's demoing these lentils. And they were actually good. I found out that all she did was mix them with some pasta sauce and some feta cheese. So, since I liked the taste, and since there's ALWAYS red sauce in this house, and since I own a good supply of feta cheese, I bought the lentils. Lentils are a good source of protein, fiber, and several B vitamins as well as potassium and numerous minerals. See, I told you I am trying to eat better.......

I have a couple of tax returns finished and ready to go out. Another has been input but I can't call it done til I ask the client some questions. And another arrived in the mail today.......... Every little bit helps. 

I've been working on design a lot. I have one kit I started to rework. Then I basically decided I didn't like the kit well enough to keep much of it at all. So, I stopped that whole thing and instead started to design a new kit using the same color palette. I worked a little on it the other day, but, for whatever reason, I can't seem to focus on it. I'll go back to it and dog it til I get it done, sooner or later. I started on something new and I'm making good progress on the new one. The papers are done and I've got over 50 MB of elements. It's got a nice bright color palette, so you know I'm loving it. 

I was going to come on here to tell you some good news. I went through the whole day yesterday and didn't experience a single hot flash. I loved it! Unfortunately, I made up for it today. I'm also peeling again. Ugh! I had hoped to miss that this time around. It's not as bad as last time. I'm sure grateful for that. Seems to be limited to my feet, calves, and arms this time.

I'm going to bed. At least, I'm going to the other end of the house. It remains to be seen whether I will stay awake with stomach cramps. Maybe my milk of magnesia AKA Magnesium supplement will help......