I actually had a less than crazy shift today. Of course, I don't know what might have hit my partner after I left, but it wasn't too bad for the time I was there. We did have one big rush, but other than that it was doable by normal human beings not in overdrive mode.
If you remember, I actually prayed for a lighter day. Thursday was such a booger. I just did not want to go through that again so soon! So, I guess my prayers were answered. Between us we actually managed to make coffee every 2 hours, wash the glass front doors, wash the floor, keep the mess on the coffee service area cleaned up, wipe up the counter area around the soda area multiple times, empty all the trash cans, stock the cooler and more. It was kind of the job the way I'd like to do it every night.
For the last day or so, I've had Saving Private Ryan playing in the background. Of course, I flip over and watch a little every now and then, but mostly, I listen. I have been thinking about the scene near the end of the movie. Capt. John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) is dying. Of his team of 7 men, only two are left alive. But, Private Ryan (Matt Damon) has been "saved". They set out to find him in the grand mess of that period right after D Day. Once they found him and got him back safely to their HQ, Private Ryan would be going home. He had 3 brothers and all had been killed in combat; it was ordered that Private Ryan would go home so that one of the children in the family would survive. As Captain Miller is dying, he manages to tell Private Ryan to "earn this". It was as though it was up to Ryan to live in such a way to make up for the men who gave their lives to save him............
I got to thinking of a similar sacrifice someone made for me. His name was Jesus and He died to save me. The difference is that He doesn't hold me responsible to "earn this". His death was His gift to me and many others, but it was a gift, freely given. It is not up to me to "earn" it. It's there for the taking.
Yet, I am so grateful I truly want to "earn" it. I can't ever "earn" it, any more than Private Ryan could live a good enough life to make up for the deaths of all the others. But, knowing the cost of this gift, I want to try to be worthy of it. Not that I ever will be; I am human and I frequently screw up. My mama didn't give birth to no perfect children!
Tonight my usual partner was in a different mood. His estranged wife pulled a really BAD trick which is threatening his entire family, mother, father, sister, brother-in-law, as well as threatening him. And instead of severe depression, I saw flashes of anger. That's a good thing. It means, whether he knows it or not, he is slowly, faulteringly, working his way through the stages of grief. But, even under the anger, the depression lurks.
I was outside, sitting in my van for a few minutes. I was singing songs to Jesus. (Very softly, of course. I didn't want to gross out customers with my singing voice.) I could not help but think how blessed I am that I am a child of the King. I was cushioned as I worked my way through the worst of the grief over the death of my husband. I am saddened at the way my life is right now; it is not how I expected to spend my "golden" years. But I'm not angry. And the sadness does not overwhelm me. Beyond that, I have every expectation that my life is going to get better and better over whatever "long haul" remains. While the young man who has a whole lifetime ahead of him can't see over his shoetops and he blames God for everything bad that has happened in his life, I am sitting in the parking lot singing songs of praise. I may be old enough to be his mother and I have no idea, specifically, what I have to look forward to, but I think I've got the better deal going! The more I learn, the more I know that what's ahead is GOOD! To me, God is everything good I've ever needed; to him, God is out to wreck his life. My God gives me hope; his God beats up on him for no reason. Yup, I think I've got it right! It's a grand way to live life!
So, even though I know I have no requirement to "earn" it, I think I just make a sign with those words on it and hang it over my desk. I could use it as a reminder that I want to make each day count for Him. I want to do my best every day........... It is an expression of gratitude on my part, not a requirement on His..........
So, tomorrow is accounting day. I had planned to go to Costco tomorrow, but I've now decided to try to put that off til next Friday. I just got a mailer advertising some great deals on products I use, including dog food with a 3 # bonus in each bag and a discount of $4.50 per bag. The special prices don't apply til 9/4/14. That's worth waiting for, particularly since I never buy less than 2 bags!
Butt update: I know by now you think I must spend a lot of time in front of a mirror eyeballing my rear end. No, really I don't. It is more that I am amazed at the changes I see there, whenever I happen to look, LOL. It never would have occurred to me that adding hours of just standing to my routine would reshape a butt. I would have thought miles and miles on the treadmill would be required. So, every time I happen to look, I am just a little shocked. Yes, it's better today than it was the last time I looked, whenever that was. I don't know what to make of it, LOL. Anyway, I had to tell someone and you drew the short straw. Hey, just be happy for me, okay?
It's getting late. Time for me to begin the process of getting ready for bed. I'm tired and I worked hard to get tired! Now, sleep and restoration is in order. See ya on the flip side..........