My Weblog

Another day

I worked today. I was blessed to be sent to Lumber. I didn't sit much because it was busier than usual. But even a few moments help. The big challenge was walking down there and back twice. The walking was truly painful. But, I did it.

I've actually accomplished a little tonight though I did need a lie down when I got home. I think someone came to the door. I was not dressed and sound asleep so I'm not sure. I keep forgetting that I'm not allowed to sleep from February to mid-April. Anyway, Parker never barks but either he did today or I dreamed it...........

I did manage to get some banking done on the way home. I still have trouble with the ATM machine. Pushing buttons with my left hand is hit and miss.

It looks like hours are increasing--saints be praised. I have several 4-shift weeks coming up, It's been a long dry spell in the paycheck department.

Anyway, it's late and I'm off to bed. Just wanted to check in.

I need a hairdresser.........

With this strange thing in my left hand, one of the hardest things is getting my hair to look decent. I can't manage a curling iron. The curling brush has a very large barrel, better for longer hair. I have trouble with aiming the blow dryer. This morning I tried hot rollers. But, I have to work so slowly I was burning my fingers. Now I have velcro rollers in my hair. It was quite the effort to get them in. Hopefully my hair will look better after this than it looked yesterday. I've also discovered the left arm is somewhat effected.

Sewing...............I have the itch again. I think the last time I made apparel was the wedding dress I made for my daughter. That was in 2005. It was a nightmare. First, I lost the instruction sheet, so I had to guess when to do what. Second, my daughter only made herself available for one fitting. In that it had a scalloped lace overlay for the skirt, I REALLY needed more. Hemming was a guessing game. The lace overlay had to be shortened from the top where it joined the bodice. I was a nervous wreck on the eve of the wedding and still hemming that darn dress in my hotel room! The dress turned out beautiful, by the way, but it was such a stressful traumatic experience, I thought I was done sewing apparel for life. But, maybe not...........

The situation is that I have lost so much weight that I have nothing to wear but my work wardrobe. For summer, that's shorts and tees. Here in the desert, you can go almost anywhere in shorts and tees, but I might want something a little dressier for church. I literally have nothing that doesn't hang on me like a tent. So, I have the itch..........I really can't do anything about it for a month, but, maybe then...........

I am on the last two antibiotics for this infection. I wish I felt more like I was doing better. I'm still bone tired and the flank pain is still with me though a bit less. The hand is still not performing normally. I can do more with it sometimes, but it's not reliable. I had a woman pay for a purchase yesterday with $1 bills. It was embarrassing because I had a hard time counting the money to verify her count--but if I didn't recount, my drawer could have come out over or under. I just about have the head cashiers trained to count the money for me when they bring me change. Otherwise they'd be standing there a lot longer than they have time for.

Today is payday--always a blessed event in my life. I thank God that I've been able to continue working through this mess.

That's it for now. Time for me to find something to eat in the kitchen.

I worked today

and I struggled. It seems I am getting the symptoms of this UTI in reverse. As I remember it, one of the first things that happens is urinary frequency. Also, fever. Here I am, more than halfway through the antibiotics with both problems. I had some training materials I had to get through so I spent about an hour sitting down which was a blessing. The "flank pain" was bad today. Also, my heart rate could have subbed for the drummer of a rock'n'roll band. I have struggled with leg pain for years now. It's worse than ever. The only relief is to stop walking, Coming into the store requires I walk in this big loop around the front of the store. I usually make it in and then have to stop til the pain lightens. They act as though I'm going to fall over dead when I stop. I give my standard answer:  "I'll be fine as soon as I stop walking."

I was told years ago that the mark of a good manager is that he/she considers a problem, makes a decision on the best course of action, and then defends the decision. I asked last week if I could come into the store thru the exit door instead of the entrance. This would save about 69% of the big loop. I was told "no". It is against store policy. In truth, the reason for this policy is so that they can easily track you in case you abuse the time allotted for breaks, which I do not. So, the decision is that I must continue to endure the pain so they can more easily make sure I haven't turned into an employee who takes advantage of the store, experiencing a change of character after almost three years. Yet, they like to say we are "family". Do you have a family member you would choose to suffer additional pain? I don't.............

I was asked if I could work tomorrow. Stupidly I checked my schedule and said I'd do it. I failed to take into account that I'm sick and could use the time off to rest and heal. I do have this belief that if I am offered extra hours, it is an offer that comes from the favor of God. I suppose you'd be silly to turn down an opportunity God gives you. There's that old adage: "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it". I guess that sums it up..........

I came home from work and went to bed shortly thereafter. I got up at midnight and I'll head back to bed fairly soon. Part of this was typed with two hands...........

Whose dog is this?

My dog Parker is 11 years old this year. We had a first last night. He has slept with me every night basically since Joe died. He's a weird guy. He has never shown a whole lot of affection nor does he seem to want it. In fact, if you touch him, he jumps. He's a foundling so I have no idea what might have happened to him as a young pup, but since he's been here, this is the way he behaves.

I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom. I was sleeping on my side with my back to "his" side of the bed. I was shocked to find him curled up against my legs. In all these years, that has never happened. I've had some cold nights I'd have been thrilled just to be able to put my icy feet somewhere close to him, but he'd move away. I did what I needed to do and came back to bed. When I woke up this morning, it was deja vu. There he was, curled up again, in the crook of my legs...........

I'm confused, but I'm happy with this new attitude of his. He may learn how to be a much-loved dog at his ripe old age!

An offer I couldn't refuse

My direct supervisor came to me a couple of days ago and asked if I'd like to work in the cash office. The hours are wretched--it's a 4-hour shift starting at 5;30AM! But it would be cool to be home, work-day finished by 10AM, allowing for commute. The best part about it--you get to sit down! For right now they just need someone for backup. I would be continuing to stand my "watch" at a register at more normal times when not needed in the cash office. The funny thing is, I just had a conversation with the Lord about finding me a job in the store where I could sit down. If He wants this to happen, it will.

I've been thinking a lot about self-checkout lately. That makes cashiers superfluous and unemployed. I don't see this new thing as being at risk of automation. It's been said by our store manager that our store will NEVER do self-checkout. However, it is obvious that corporate is trying to trim payroll costs. And our store manager is not one to buck corporate............Plus, it's likely a good skill to have.

God knows best. We'll just see what He has in mind.............

I have flanks?

I've watched enough Civil War/WWII/VietNam Conflict movies to know that groups of soldiers have flanks. I also knew that horses had flanks. I never thought of myself as having flanks. But, according to Dr. Google, pain in the flanks is another symptom of this UTI I have. I have had a lot of pain when walking, but I've had pain when walking for years. I have noticed though that the pain starts sooner. Lately, I start to hurt when all I've done is walk from the front door to the van. And it hurts like a bugger--hips, buttocks, thighs. Makes walking miserable--more so than usual.

I have been having weirdness with the van. The ABS and Brake light comes on sometimes. There's no predicting when. It acts like a "short" somewhere. I dropped the van off yesterday at 8:30AM. They were to check it out. They brought me home and that was the last I heard from them til I called them a little after 5. They are telling me my battery needs to be replaced and it's putting out low voltage. They think that's the root of the problem. I guess I'll go lookin' for a second opinion on the battery and, if necessary, a replacement battery.

I'm still typing with just my right hand. I did manage to turn a key in the lock with my left hand yesterday. I've also been able to open several sweet 'n'low packets without using my teeth. I've learned that opening a jar is possible if I push it tightly against my body and then twist the lid. Baby steps.............

Dr. Google

Dr. Google says "fatigue is a symptom of a UTI". He's right. Here it is mid-morning and I'm ready to fall asleep in my chair. I got up at 6 so I'd be awake enough to take the car in to have that brake light business looked at. (They were kind enough to drive me home and they'll call and come pick me up when it's done.) Besides, with that construction mess going on behind the house, who knows if I'll ever be able to sleep in again............

I've had my third antibiotic pill. So far the frequency problem is a little better, but not the urgency. A few small victories: I managed to open a sweet n low package without using my teeth. I also managed to push the button and turn the space heater on with my left hand.

Last time I bought groceries I bought a package of Jack Daniels pulled barbecue pork. 'Bout the same time I made some delicious cole slaw and bought a pack of Hawaiian dinner rolls. I've been eating barbecue pork sliders. The pork was on sale but by the pound it was still pricey. However that pack of rolls contained 12 originally and I'm down to 2. I ate 2 just to have something to shove in my mouth. That means that pork has given me 4 meals so far and I have about 1/3 of the meat left. Maybe not such a bad deal after all. I can do a pork roast in the crockpot or the Instant Pot, but when I do, my pulled pork comes out greasy. This stuff I bought is remarkable in that it doesn't have much fat at all.

When I made the cole slaw, my intention was to can it. But, it tasted so darned good, I figured I'd be able to eat it all now without needing to can any of it. I will make more and can it--soon. I love having homemade ready-to-eat stuff on my shelf.

They've only been at the construction stuff about two weeks. They're still filling and grading the land. So, they're running heavy equipment and heavy trucks pulling double belly dumps on our subdivision streets. One of the streets that is taking the heaviest traffic already has pot holes.............

Client due momentarily to pick up a return so keepin' this short. Besides, my right hand is tired. Not used to doing all the work.

Detective Me

I MAY have tracked down what is happening with me. It's going to sound bizarre. I have a UTI. I have many of the classic symptoms: frequent urination, urgency/incontinence, odd smell to the urine. No fever. Intermittent pain in the area of the kidneys. Mental fogginess. Dr. Google tells me there can be "nervous system complications"'. I  have been RUNNING to the restroom a lot and, yes literally running. I have noticed an "off" odor. What is going on with my left hand, I think is indicative of "nervous system complications". I am consciously telling myself to do certain things with my left hand and it is as though there is molasses gumming up the works between the brain and my hand. Last week I locked my keys in the car and had to call a locksmith. The following day I had to retrace my steps through the whole store til I got to Lumber where I'd somehow laid my keys on the counter and left them there.............I'd call that two good examples of "mental fogginess".

Anyway I called tel-a-doc and got a prescription for Bactrim which I took for the first time years ago for a UTI. I'll pick up the meds at the pharmacy tomorrow. Meanwhile I have enough of the stuff on hand to dose myself with tonight and tomorrow morning. We'll see what the next couple of days bring............

Things I can do

Sunday Morning

For sure, I can walk carefully, talk, and praise the Lord. I can, with patience, dress myself. I can drive. Operate a scan gun. There's a lot I can do.

Things I can't do: with my left hand I can't keyboard properly, Button a shirt. Hold onto anything small--a sheet of paper, a $ bill, etc. Lock my car. Control the power windows on the car. Flip switches or press buttons. Curl or blow dry my hair. Turn the lever on the house door lock. Pull my britches up or down quickly. Also can't push a pierced earring post thru my ears. Haven't figured out how to collect those massive trash cans from the curb--impossible to manage with one functional hand. Put stuff in my pants pocket. Probably more.............

There are a lot of things which require cooperation from your non-dominant hand, like opening a bottle or jar, drive thru the ATM, Those are a few things I'm having trouble with...........I bought some official PT stuff and I'll start working with that stuff--squeezy balls and therapeutic putty--as soon as I get it. Can't get a doctor's appointment til April............I'm believing God will have taken care of the problem by then.

I was supposed to be at work today at 6:30 for one of those all store meetings. Like Job, "that which I feared has come upon me". I have never slept well before early start times. But this morning I slept thru 33 minutes of the world's most obnoxious alarm clock. I learned about my limitations with button front shirts because I stupidly selected one to wear today. I tried to blow some shape into my hair but I couldn't aim the blow drier where I needed it. Managed to use the curling iron to create one foolish looking curl with just a small scalp burn. Anyway, I got there about 15 minutes late and the doors were locked. So I wasted my time, the bit of sleep I could have gotten and my gasoline. Now I'm home and I'm staying put for the rest of the day.

Wednesday Morning

I worked one-handed on Monday. Management just pretends they don't know.............I'm doing it again today. It's raining today. Apparently most of the night as well.

Monday I looked a sight--I just couldn't make the hair thing work. I looked a bit better. It seems my curling brush technique has improved, Thanks be to God. I'm still opening makeup containers with my teeth. I'd really like to eat a cheese stick or two this morning but I know I would have a very difficult time opening them--they're tough normally.

That's all I have time for right now.

The late shift

The left hand is still somewhat uncooperative. It WILL do what I want it to if I'm patient and focused. Makes doing a blog entry slow and cumbersome though. Saturday my new Keurig came. I was standing by the dining room table cutting the tape on the package and my left leg threatened again to collapse. I steadied myself by leaning on/hanging onto the table. So, weirdness continues...........

Sunday I happened to check my heart rate as I was getting ready to go to work. My resting pulse rate was 150% of what it usually is at that time of the morning. But, the Lord and I kind of have a deal. He sees to it that I'm scheduled to work and I do my utmost to do that. I headed out and then turned around about 2 miles down the road and came home. I take a daily pill to "support the heart". I know that there are far stronger doses than what has been prescribed for me in the past. So, I took an extra pill and then headed back up the hill. I now know why I'm supposed to take that pill at night. I felt like I was in slow motion all day.

Before my shift was over, several of us were hypothesizing that a full moon was upon us. I had one customer who got really angry because I had not told her ahead of time how to use her card to complete her transaction. I "waited til she screwed it up" before I said anything. Well, like I said, "slow motion". But, of course, in large letters, the instructions are printed and taped to the machine. I guess my drug-slowed brain made the incorrect assumption she could read..........

Then I had another customer who complained to the head cashier that I "just stood there and her husband had to do all the work". Well, to tell the truth, I'd have been happier if he'd gotten out of the way and stopped "helping". I move items from left to right as I scan them. He kept picking up new items from the cart and putting them down amongst those items I'd already scanned. Seconds (literally) he'd pick up those items and put them in a bag. I had to tell him twice "I haven't scanned that yet". I felt only a little better after I was told that other cashiers had had the same kinds of problems/comments. At least in my medication induced fog, the comments bothered me a lot less.

I've done 3 tax returns so far. One client is getting a jumbo-sized refund. This has little to do with anything I did. Rather, he had "jumbo" withholding. However, he laid down a good bit of money on the desk and refused to take it back. God finds ways to meet our needs.........He gambles a lot. I figure it was the equivalent in his mind of tipping the dealer on a big win...........

Wednesday morning:

I'm home today. Worked til close last night. Don't hold a lot of hope for today. My back is whacked today. I stood on concrete floors for 5.5 hours last night so I guess the backache is not unusual. It should have no place in my life (as a believer) but it's here and I have to deal with it as best I can.

I pulled a stupid trick last night. I locked my keys in my van. I called Geico road service. That was a challenge to my patience. Many questions answered over and over. They then sent the locksmith to the wrong address! I was allowed to handle all this while on the clock. I feel bad about that. I will call in and see if one of the honchos has the ability to dock me for the time. I know they allowed me to handle it on the clock because it was good for them. They were thinking about closing the store at night and leaving one old lady standing outside alone, waiting for a locksmith. That spells liability. And at the time I came in they had enough bodies to cover so I wasn't essential to operations at that moment. Still, I was handling personal business, not working for them and I doubt I should be paid for that.

I had planned to make some yummy barbecued pork sandwiches for "dinner" after work. I arrived home exhausted and ended up going to bed without dinner. I made a BIG batch of coleslaw (no mayo in the dressing) last week which I'd planned to can. I didn't can it. It was so yummy I knew I'd eat it quickly enough that it wouldn't spoil. I even managed to get some King's Hawaiian rolls at the store last week. It all sounds too good so I guess I'll have that for lunch.

I work again tomorrow so this is another of those single days off. I am finding I mind the every other day thing a whole lot less as I work it. I've learned to use those days off well and the time to allow this old body to recover is valuable as well. Sometimes, though, it's impossible to accomplish everything that needs to be done in the time available.

Well, that's it for now. Maybe more later.