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Not that I was tired or anything..........

but, I slept another 4 hours. The worst of it has faded, as far as the pain is concerned, but it's still there. I may aggravate it if I try to do too much, but stuff has to get done around here and Parker doesn't have opposable thumbs. I guess I'm elected..........

I am doing my best to get back on a healthier diet. I started back with the smoothies early this week. If I elect not to have a smoothie, I'm eating either oatmeal or eggs and greens. It's a simple fact that I do not get enough veggies and fruit in my diet. This week's greens will consist of either kale or napa cabbage. The first batch of smoothie I made does not taste very good. It doesn't taste bad. It's pretty tasteless. I added a lot of frozen blueberries, a good bit of kale, a little snack container of peaches, some carrot, half an orange, a banana, and I used up some of the baby food I bought back when I had dental work done. Later I added a large can of pineapple with the juice. After all that, the overwhelming flavor is banana. I eat bananas, but I don't love them. I need to figure out something else to add that will work against that banana flavor! The blueberries are some I bought at Smart & Final. Suffice it to say I am not a big fan of their bagged frozen fruit.

I'm also using coconut oil wherever I can manage. It seems to be the healthiest of the oils, from what I can see.

I found a new recipe for flavored coffee creamer on line. There are many variations available if you have the ingredients. Right now I am experimenting with Irish Cream. I think the jar I started with was too small. I'm having trouble getting the prescribed ingredients into the jar. I'll switch to a quart mason jar and that should do the trick. I think the jar I've been using is only a little over a pint.

That's it for now. I took some ibuprofen and as soon as that hits, I'm going to get going on house stuff. Pray for me.

Rotten night..........

I took a non-narcotic muscle relaxer and went to bed around 10PM. I woke up about 3 hours later having had a very upsetting dream. That kept me awake and praying for protection for the person involved for quite a while. I finally went back to sleep and got up at 4AM because I was hurting too bad to stay in bed and I had a charley horse in my right leg. I made two mistakes here. One, I didn't take my potassium before I went to bed. I wouldn't say that's the "cause" of anything but it didn't help matters. Two, I could have taken the heavy-hitter muscle relaxer, since I was going to bed anyway, but stuck with the other which was not smart. I KNOW those light weight pills do NOT do the job that SOMA does. So, I'm paying the price this morning. I've taken a SOMA now and as soon as I get drowsy, I'll head back down the hall.

I had wanted to defrost and inventory the freezer. I just don't know if I can manage that today. That is going to involve some lifting and a lot of motion, taking things out of the freezer and then putting it all back. No doubt, I'll have to go after the frost buildup with a hairdryer and I don't think I'll be very good at that left handed. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if the SOMA gives me some relief. 

I NEED to run the vacuum cleaner but there is no way I can do that! So, I guess I'll fire up Roomie and let her do her thing.

Yesterday was payday. I got a good check and I'm happy. Partly it is the result of those two extra shifts I worked and partly the result of the quarterly bonus. I didn't expect the bonus and it's not much of a bonus if you work where most people work but I'm thrilled to have it.

I need to get trash out today, somehow. Trash pickup isn't til Tuesday but I work every day between now and then. And, since I've been getting so many late shifts, that seems to dictate I either do trash in the mornings or after dark. And, you know how useless I am in the mornings..........

There's a possible problem with the van. I don't REALLY think it's a problem, but I need to get it checked out. The ABS and brake lights keep coming on. THey don't come on consistently, just randomly. I may drive to work with those lights on and then, when I go to drive home, they're not on. I had the brakes done just a few months ago. I'm going to guess this is some sort of pre-programmed light that comes on after X miles to tell me to get the brakes done. There was probably some button they needed to push which they failed to do. I've had this same sort of thing happen with the tire warning light in the past. The people who replaced the tires told me that light would go off automatically after so many miles driven, but it didn't. Finally, they figured out they needed to push a button and the light went away. In many ways, our lives were so much simpler before cars became computerized............

My prayer list is growing. There are 3 of us "older" ladies who work the registers at the store. One of the other two will only work a 4 hours shift 3 days a week. The other works 3 8-hour shifts per week. Both of them are a little older than I am. I saw the one who works the longer hours yesterday and she looked absolutely ragged. I said something to her and she began telling me about her husband. He apparently has some incurable degenerating lung disease. She is driving him from doctor to doctor on her days off, taking care of him, and fighting with the insurance companies on his behalf. Of course, she has some medical problems of her own with which to contend as well and her problems are exacerbated by stress. I think she's about had it so I decided I would add her to my list.

So, that's it for now. I'm going to go try to get some rest and hope and pray the SOMA does something good for my neck.

Rain and other things...........

We got some rain yesterday. I'm pretty sure it was enough to be measurable. We'll take whatever we can get. LOVE the moisture the rain delivers even if I don't want to be out in it. The wet air has not been good for me, particularly in that it's "cold". I have coughed a LOT today. I had to be out in it when I went to the Dr., when I went to get gas in the tank and when I went for groceries. I also ended up carrying groceries from the van to the house in the rain............

I checked. We got .12 inches of rain yesterday. The monthly average for December is half an inch. We've got a way to go!

I worked today. I ended up doing the whole day in Lumber. Much of it I did not sit because the crew who work in the Pro area were all in and there was nowhere I could sit and still see the register. I got hit with a lot of hundred dollar bills today. I called 3 times, trying to get more 20s, 10s, and 5s for the register and no one answered any of the calls. Finally I gave up and moved to another machine. The last guy who gave me a 100 on the first machine walked away with the last of everything and I still had to give him 18 ones to get him all his change. We were pretty busy today.

One more bit about going to the doctor. He decided I am low on sodium. That confuses me. I have high blood pressure. I have always heard that that requires a low sodium diet. Sodium will cause you to retain water which is supposed to be bad for high blood pressure. And, yes, I've checked and the blood pressure meds I take DO contain a diuretic. So, I'm taking pills that cause me to lose a lot of water and sodium goes along with it. In other words, I'm dumping sodium but now I'm low on sodium. Crazy life! I've studiously been avoiding salt wherever I can. I wasn't a big salt person to begin with and now I find that if I follow a recipe, I tend to decide what I've cooked is too salty for me. Well, maybe not if I'm low on sodium...........

I'm off tomorrow. Yippee. I need to defrost and inventory the freezer. I may tackle that tomorrow. OR if not tomorrow, it will be Wednesday or Thursday next week. In any case it needs done and soon! I try to get at it about every 6 months. It's chilly in the garage tonight, but tomorrow it will be okay. It's supposed to hit a high of 61 tomorrow.

The neck thing is still with me. The shoulder seems to be doing better though. Even the neck is some better, but I can tell something is still out of place. If I try to turn my head too far to the right or lean my head to the right, I'm likely to let out a yelp of pain. It's embarrassing, but the stabbing pain is not something I can prepare for.........so unavoidable.

I've taken a muscle relaxer and shortly I'm going to try to lie down for a little while. Maybe, just maybe, I will wake up with whatever is out of place moved to where it belongs.........

 

Have I told you lately how much I dislike doctors?

Let's see. I started with this Medicare-based insurance January 2017. I'm on my 3rd doctor and I haven't left any of them behind. The first one went off to start some "concierge" medical practice. The replacement I picked for him stopped taking my insurance. So, I've been assigned another. However, as I noted the other day, no one advised me that doc #2 dumped me until I was butt up against the deadline to refill one of my scripts. Then the answer came back that they couldn't refill it (it's supposed to be a "maintenance" medication) and I had to see the new doc. Okay, I whined to the appointment setter at the doc's office and got an appointment at 8 this morning.

My first problem with this new doc is that he probably thinks I'm an "infidel". This might encourage him to try to do his duty and kill the infidel. Well, I'm sure God can protect me, but I still don't like it. I explained to this guy that I do not intend to be run ragged with tests. I saw docs in Florida do that with my mother. I swear she was tested for EVERY disease known to mankind. And 98% of those things they tested her for they weren't going to treat her for anyway because she was well into her 90's. In my opinion it's called bilking the system and I don't want to participate in that. Besides, even if you go get a test ordered by your PCP, the first thing he/she wants to do is send you to a specialist who will want the same test done a different way or a different test done the same way or the same test done again just to confirm the first 3 tests. Bah Humbug! Honestly, I blame the FL docs for my mother's wasting away. It was while she was trying to get some test done for some disease most likely carried by the west African TseTse fly (she lived in Florida, not west Africa). She fell and she went into assisted living after that, hated it, and never came out.

The second problem I have with docs in general is their knee jerk reactions. I watched it when it was announced that Barbara Bush had thyroid problems. Suddenly doctors discovered a "new" disease on the horizon and everyone was getting a thyroid test done. After much screeching and yelling, I had finally had thyroid disease diagnosed and by the time I convinced the doctor to run THAT test, it was an emergency. I was out of town and they had to FEDEX me the medication. More recently some research was done showing that many adults over 50 are deficient in Vitamin D. Now every adult over 50 who darkens the door of a medical office needs to be tested for Vitamin D. And all of this is the result of someone stubbing their little toe on a couch. They go to the doctor with the broken toe and 15 tests are needed before the doc can send them away saying there's nothing he/she can do for the toe.

So, today I encountered a knee jerk reaction. To facilitate the transition from one doctor to another, I took in a list of all the medications I take, the dosages prescribed, and whether or not I had refills pending.  I did that because Doctor #2 had an assistant who never did manage to get it all straight. I wanted to try to avoid all that, hoping that Doctor #3's assistant had average intelligence. Two that don't have refills on them are SOMA and Tramodol. Okay, yes, they're "narcotic". However, the last time I got SOMA was 90 pills on 8/25/17. That was almost a year and a half ago, more than 500 days ago, and I still have 18 pills left. Does it sound to you like I am addicted to them? No person with any degree of common sense would think so. The Tramadol was originally prescribed on 1/15/17. The prescription was for 90 pills. That's pretty close to 700 days ago and I still have 15 of those left. Yes, sir. That is a sure sign of addiction. NOT! So this guy wrote me two new prescriptions for 30 pills each. Now, the truth is that 30 of either of those pills will last me quite some time--months. What bugs me is that 2 years ago, giving me 90 pills was no big deal. Now that we're all "concerned" about opiods, getting 30 pills requires many questions and deep "concern". Humbug again! Let's use a little common sense, shall we?

I take blood pressure meds and a pill that "supports the heart". Doc #3 wants to mess with the magic formula. He wants to change what I take. I am an advocate of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". Well, it ain't broke..........

Then he wants me screened for this and screened for that. Geez. What a waste of my time. Mammogram? Waste of time. By the time a mammogram detects breast cancer, it's already grown to a size we don't want to talk about. Google it.

To top it all off, he started lecturing me about cholesterol and diabetes. If he had looked at my latest blood test, instead of an old one, he would have seen that there is absolutely no concern on either count. I finally got him to look at the correct blood test...........Thank God, that ended THAT lecture.

One good thing came out of it all. I got a sample of Symbicort given to me. It will carry me through 30 days. Yay! That saved me $47. I also learned that it is available in a double dose. So, somewhere down the road, if I need that level of medication, it is available.

One little piece of good news..........

No, the neck/shoulder thing is not "fixed" yet. However............

I have had pieces of broken tooth working their way up through my gums. They have caused some pain and are some part of why these stupid teeth don't fit right. Well, one piece just worked its way all the way out. Less pain in the future, and less upward pressure against the bottom teeth.

Yes, it's a little piece of good news. But, I'm happy nonetheless.

Well, at least I got some sleep......

It has taken me 11 hours or more to get roughly 8 hours of sleep, but I DID sleep. And, while I was asleep, I didn't hurt. Glory, Hallelujah!!! Yes, I still hurt. But, just getting some sleep is a big deal. I feel a whole lot better about the world in general and about my ability to get through the day having accomplished something. I'm pretty sure what I actually accomplish will fall far short of what I wanted to accomplish. But, something beats nothing and if I were still exhausted, I'm pretty sure nothing would be getting done today.

Having said that, I'm really just getting started on my day and it's almost noon. Well, I guess that's what happens when it takes 11 hours to get 8 hours sleep...........

I went to bed around midnight and was back up at 4ish. I stayed up til around 7 but I was dozing in my chair which is probably not a good thing, given that one's head flops around when one "dozes" in a sitting position. At 7 I gave up and went back to bed.

So, for now, the objective is to get some clothes on and get moving on darned near anything I think this body will tolerate! Later...............

Home a little early..........

I asked to leave early tonight. I actually hung around about 40 minutes longer than I wanted, but my body, in its sadly deteriorated state, was needed til the 7 o'clock breaks were handled. About 7:10. I clocked out. So, I lost 50 minutes off the clock.

The neck and shoulder are a mess. NOTHING seems to be helping at this time. I've used the non-narcotic muscle relaxers. At night I've thrown in a couple of the narcotic ones just because generally they work faster. I've VERY CAREFULLY done every neck/shoulder yoga position I know, over and over. I've taken pain pills. I've taken ibuprofen. I've applied heat. I even did a bit of CBD oil. I've amped up my potassium and magnesium. I've used the massager. Tonight I even pulled out the blue emu stuff. I have tried everything I can think of.

Work tonight was tough. I did go to Lumber which is a blessing when it's the back, legs, or feet that are making me miserable. Didn't help much with the neck, however.

Our registers face opposite directions. So, on the odd numbered registers, the customer/counter is on my left. And, on the even numbered registers, the customer/counter is on my right. So, on the even numbered registers, I am working from left to right. That means I am constantly moving my right arm/shoulder. For obvious reasons, I wanted to work on register 1 where it was my left arm that would get the workout. However, I was specifically asked to work on register 2. I really didn't understand the reason; I think, somehow, my presence on that particular register is supposed to be some sort of theft deterrent. To me that idea is kinda goofy. First, I am not some 6'4" guy who is built like a brick outhouse. I'm a little old lady. If someone chooses to grab something and run out the door, what am I gonna do about it? Further, I'm not supposed to do anything about it. I'm not to chase or touch the thief. So, it makes no sense to me. However, when I was asked to move from register 1 to register 2, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was SO painful, even though I'd taken a whole Tramadol and the non-narcotic muscle relaxer. I just kept "yelping" in pain which was no fun and embarrassing. I also found that speaking on the phone was no good. Habitually, a lot of us cradle the phone between our face and our shoulder. Without thinking, I did that at one point tonight and that resulted in another "yelp".

I can handle pain. I've had a lot of it in my life and I've learned to cope. However, after a while my ability to cope wears out. This neck mess has been ongoing since I woke up on the 27th. So, an entire week. And the worst of it is that I don't seem to be able to get any relief. I also am having a very hard time sleeping. Even through the strong meds, the pain breaks through when I'm trying to sleep. So, I'm becoming physically exhausted which doesn't help my ability to cope one bit. By the time I came back from my second break, I'd had enough. It was made worse by the fact that it was quite chilly outside (where I take my breaks) and it was also chilly in Lumber. I don't know 'bout you, but I tend to tense up when I'm cold. NOT a good idea at a time like this.

I am very thankful for one thing: the good Lord seems to allow me to hurt in only one place at a time. I don't know what I'd have done if, in addition to the shoulder/neck, my back and my feet had also been screaming. He never lets that happen. I am so grateful.

About dreams and goals............

I have long known that I really don't have dreams or goals. Oh, maybe some goals, things I'd like to see happen, but not things I'm committed to achieving other than surviving another day. It hit me this morning that that just might be a symptom of a lack of faith.........

Here's an example: My dining room table is really bad. I'm at least its 3rd owner. Along the way I loaned it to someone and they didn't take care of it, just returned it to me in much worse condition than it was when they got it. (I never got a proper thank you, even though lending that person my dining room table meant I went without that whole time. Oops, squirrel.) I had thought perhaps I could sand the top a little and paint it. Now, however, I've noticed that it's beginning to separate where some of the boards are joined together. I have no idea how to deal with that......... I'd love a new table, but I don't feel I should spend money on something I don't really need. It's not like money is growing on trees around here. At one point, just a few months ago, I was offered a dining room set someone else was getting rid of. I knew why they were replacing it and I knew what they thought was a problem wouldn't bother me in the least. Then, woe is me, the person who offered it to me learned his partner had already offered it to someone else. And my hopes of a new dining room table (well, new to me) vaporized.

But, here's the deal: I serve a God who says nothing is impossible for Him. So, if I really want a new dining room set, shouldn't I be praying for that and expecting to receive it any day? After all, He loves me. I'm His favorite daughter. If He wants to bless me, won't He find me a new dining room set if I ask? But, I haven't even asked. And it's not that I haven't asked because I don't really need it. I haven't asked because I don't see how that could happen. Oops! Faith is the evidence of things not seen. If I have faith, then I don't need to see how it could happen. I just need to believe it will, simply because He loves me and even an earthly Daddy would get that for his favorite daughter if He could..............

So, I'm thinking, yes, the fact that my goals are limited to surviving another day is a sign of a lack of faith. I'm gonna have to work on a "Honey Do" list for the Lord............

It's 4:30 in the morning...........

I'm up and in pain. It sure makes getting a night's sleep a problem. I took a SOMA before I went to bed. It's worn off. I used some CBD oil before I went to bed. It's worn off so I'm awake at 4:30AM. How do I go on like this? I dunno.

 

Chili

Decided I should come back and document what I used in this chili. It's actually good enough for me to make more.

I diced 1/2 of a large sweet onion and, using the saute' function, cooked til transparent in the Instant Pot. I added 2 pints of ground beef and continued saute'ing. When the ground beef was browned, I added 2 pints of canned tomatoes. I used just a little water to rinse out the jars. I drained and thoroughly rinsed 3 pints of pinto beans and added to the pot. Then I added one pint of beef broth. I added about 3/4 a cup of dehydrated red bell peppers. I added 1 Tbsp dried oregano, 2 tsp dried cumin, 2 tsp kosher salt, 1 tsp black pepper, 1 tsp paprika, 2 Tbsp chili powder, 1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce, and about 3/4 Tbsp minced garlic. I stirred everything together and allowed it to simmer for about half an hour. Then I sat down and stuffed myself with 2 servings!